Responsibility to insta-buddy

[fnfalman]

I think this is a big point that often gets missed during many "best diving practices" disagreements. What works in 80' viz warm water might not be such a good practice in 5' viz cold water.

I'm curious but why is it so much drama with insta-buddies?

Rex, you probably didn't remember the first time I dived with you but I remembered it well. We didn't have any problems with leaving anybody behind or straying too far away, etc. And the last time we went, I used the smaller tank and ran low on air a lot earlier than you and you didn't have an issue with ending the dive while you had plenty of air left.

Is it me or people are just too sensitive?

 

[diverrex]

I'm curious but why is it so much drama with insta-buddies?

Rex, you probably didn't remember the first time I dived with you but I remembered it well. We didn't have any problems with leaving anybody behind or straying too far away, etc. And the last time we went, I used the smaller tank and ran low on air a lot earlier than you and you didn't have an issue with ending the dive while you had plenty of air left.

Is it me or people are just too sensitive?

Some people are just too senstive about this. I went on the boat one day without a buddy and got paired up this big guy. He went through his air each dive in about 20 minutes. I wasn't happy about it but I didn't say anything and did all theee dives with him. It's just the way it is sometimes. Overall it was still a good day.

Actually HT I remember well the first time we dove together (1-17-2009) as insta-buddies. We had never met before that day, or even exchanged messages of any kind, yet we still had three good dives. And more importantly we've had a lot more good dives together since starting out as insta-buddies, and I'm happy to dive with you anytime. When are you diving next?

 

[rstofer]

But for someone to say they never had a good insta-buddy strikes me as absurd.
If you have a string of bad personal or professional or diving relationships, maybe it's time to consider the one constant factor: you.

You are absolutely correct! Every time I think about these dives, I get into some serious introspection because in most cases, I could have done a better job.

1) Girl from out of town had a head cold and didn't mention it. Trying to ascend from 40' she got intense pain. We couldn't stay down forever... I could have asked about her history but I'm pretty shy and don't usually spend a lot of time talking to people, especially girls. I give myself a pass on this one.

2) Guy from out of town and we're diving to 60' or so. Maybe more, I don't recall. Anyway, our square profile is up and I'm trying to get him to surface. He wants to continue the dive. So I surfaced and watched until he came up. We had 2 rules on the boat: square profiles in compliance with the tables (NAUI, 1987) and come up with 500 psi. Otherwise you don't need to come back. I give myself a pass on this one also. He was from out of town so the rules didn't matter.

3) Diving at the Casino at Catalina, my buddy and I are going to make a 90' dive at the buoy. As we're swimming out, another couple ask if they can join us for the dive. Here's where I messed up: I agreed. His wife couldn't make the dive but agreed to hang at the buoy until we got back. So, we did our short dive and when we surfaced, she was gone. We searched and then went back to the entry point (this is long before steps were installed). There she was - still alive.

What was I thinking! Why would I have ever thought it could be a good idea to help a new diver make a deep dive? This was a huge mistake and it's all mine!

4) Diving from a boat at Lover's Point, we're in about 60' of water. I got paired up with a new diver and after a false start, we decided to swim around a rock formation. We got to the far side (about 10 minutes) and he was just about out of air. So we surfaced and had to crawl over the kelp to get back to the boat. He was having a terrible time with his weight belt falling off and getting tangled in the kelp. My crawl wasn't splendid either!

Again, maybe we should have done a little air sharing and stayed on the bottom through most of the kelp bed. My fault again! I honestly didn't know somebody could use that much air. But I was the more experienced diver so it was my responsibility. A better plan would have been to just circle below the boat. I just didn't have enough experience to know it would turn out this way.

5) Diving in the channel near Pulau Dayang (Malaysia), I got paired with a fellow who liked to mount his regulator upside down with the valve handle on the left. No problem, I wasn't going to check his valve and I certainly wouldn't let him touch mine.

However, another diver, not part of our buddy pair, decided to reach OVER the tank and turn the valve - OFF. When my buddy jumped in, he didn't have air to breath and his BC wasn't inflated very much. He was sinking and drifting away in the current. Not a pretty sight. So, I jumped in after him and got him squared away. By this time we are probably 100 yards away from the boat in high current. We get back to the boat and some of our air is gone. We make the 100' dive to the fighter jet but we can't stay long.

It is not my practice to touch anyone's gear and I don't want them to touch mine. But seeing the other diver reaching over the tank should have set off alarms. It didn't... My fault!

6) Diving off the coast of Malaysia: I got paired up with a nice you woman and we dove on a reef about 20 miles from shore. It was a wonderful dive and I sometimes look at the log book entry. I had forgotten this dive when I posted earlier. It was terrific.

Sometimes I only remember the bad things. They serve as object lessons. And the lesson is that I'm not much of a dive buddy and I really don't want to dive with strangers.

Richard

 

[scubadada]

If you agree to buddy with someone, that is what you do. That does NOT mean sticking with the Guide or DM, or ditching your buddy while UW for any reason.

If you don't want to buddy with someone dive solo (assuming that is an option). I have done exactly that on many dives. These were shallow good vis reef dives, so if the dive is novice, and the folks on the boat don't seem like they are good buddy candidates, than solo for me is an option.

I have also been asked to buddy up with newbies. I have little issue doing so as the dives are generally not deep or difficult. If my buddy sucks down his air on a shallow reef I accompany them to the surface, and continue my dive.

IMO, if you agree to buddy with someone, you have a responsibility, and it is a responsibility that is more important than the enjoyment of one dive. You can choose to ditch that AFTER the dive, but certainly not during.

Based on the OPS post I would not have wanted to be buddies with either diver because you BOTH did not offer much as a buddy, not even the bare minimum based on OW training...

I often travel and dive by myself. I dive solo whenever possible. Occasionally I find myself in circumstances where a buddy is required. I do my best proactively to line up a buddy with complementary experience and equipment (nitrox for instance). Using this strategy, I've dived with many perfectly good insta-buddies and made new friends. Occasionally, due to logistics, I've ended up with a new buddy on a more advanced dive who is quite inexperienced and otherwise mismatched. There have been many discussions on ScubaBoard concerning the AOW diver with 9 dives, none without an instructor.

So......I travel 1000 miles to Key Largo to dive on the Spiegel Grove and the Duane. It's one of those occasions when I'm paired with the only other single diver on the boat, a diver with little experience, few or no previous dives on the wreck, and diving air rather than nitrox. The dive plan discussed in great detail prior to the dive is that we will descend together, I will lead the dive and actively monitor air consumption and NDL, and if we end up with dramatically different gas or NDLs, I will lead my buddy back to the anchor line and watch him or her begin their ascent with more than sufficient gas for both the ascent and safety stop before finishing the dive myself. I make sure the plan is understood and accepted prior to the dive. I've successfully implemented this plan on numerous dives.

I fully realize I'm opening myself up to extensive criticism from many ScubaBoaders but also think many will relate to my compromise method to deal with the insta-buddy situation. I look forward to the discussion, maybe.

Happy New Year and good diving, Craig

 

[rstofer]

Depends on which "real world" you're diving in. If it's the same one I dive in, diving shoulder-to-shoulder just makes good sense ... unless you're into stressing out on half your dives because you don't know where your dive buddy went.

Different diving styles are a general indication of different predominant diving conditions. One of the biggest reasons we have differences of opinion on such things is because of the diving conditions we're typically exposed to ... and the techniques we've adapted to deal with 'em ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

I was happy with 20 or 30 foot separation in the warm clear waters of SE Asia (Thailand and Malaysia, on a good day). In Monterey, I want my buddy (my wife) shoulder to shoulder. I want to be able to just glance over and see her.

Different situations, different expectations.

Richard

 

[TSandM]

You know, there has been a lot of discussion about Pine Nut's responsibility to his buddy (which the original discussion pretty much indicated that they weren't buddies) and his buddy's responsibility to him (which included monitoring his own gas, which he apparently didn't do). But nobody has talked about Pine Nut's anxiety that the DM was leaving him and his buddy behind.

I have run into this situation -- in Cozumel, actually. A DM was leading a boat with six divers on it. Five of us were together, and had been diving together for a week without any issues at all. The sixth was new to us, and he didn't want to buddy up with any of us, but said he'd stick with the DM. That was fine; we didn't care. We were willing to buddy up with him if he wanted to do that, but if he didn't, it was his problem.

The DM said he knew we were all experienced divers, and he didn't care what we did, but his request was that we stay where he could see us. We were completely okay with that, right up until we got underwater and he took off like a scalded cat, with the sixth diver in tow. Now, there were three avid photographers in our group, and the other two of us like to go slowly and look at lots of small critters. Trying to keep up with the DM would have meant completely spoiling the dive for five of us, so after about ten minutes, we agreed on wetnotes to stop trying to keep up and just do our own dive.

The dive guide is supposed to be there to help the guests have the best dive possible. He may well decide where the dive will go, since he knows the geography. But he should NOT decide the dive will proceed at a pace that leaves some of his divers behind. When I was a brand new diver, I had HUGE anxiety over being left by the guide, and it led to some very unpleasant episodes with my husband, who didn't. Over time, I've come to believe the dive I paid for is my dive, and nobody has the right to rush me off the boat before I've done my equipment checks, or rush me through the dive underwater.

If the OP had that attitude, then he could comfortably have stayed with his photographer buddy, and the two of them could have discovered and enjoyed many cryptic critters one simply doesn't see by rushing past them (splendid toadfish, for example!)

Personally, I love diving with photographers, because they're happy to move slowly, which is the way I prefer to dive. And if I agree to go into the water with you as a buddy, we will end the dive together if there is any possible way for me to do that -- I HAVE had buddies take off on me underwater, where I couldn't keep up with them, but failing that, we dive as a cooperative pair.

 

[rstofer]

I was scolded severely by a marine biologist when I led a group of 4 divers and she was at the end of the string. I didn't even know there were Nudibranchs! I had always been swimming too fast to see them. After that, I slowed way down and diving was a lot less competitive. Now that I could see things, I learned to photograph them.

Now that I am really old, slow is all I can do. It works fine; I get to watch the Decorator Crabs!

Richard

 

[fnfalman]

When are you diving next?

Probably mid to late Jan 10. I'm having a bit of a flu right now. Hopefully it would clear up soon.

 

[RJP]

I will lead my buddy back to the anchor line and watch him or her begin their ascent with more than sufficient gas for both the ascent and safety stop before finishing the dive myself. I make sure the plan is understood and accepted prior to the dive. I've successfully implemented this plan on numerous dives.

I used to think this was a great approach, but had my eyes opened last year.

As a crew member on a local boat I meet lots of divers. Last year I met a woman who was "perfectly fine" when she was put on the anchor line by her buddy and sent up on her own. The way I met her was the interesting part.

The captain introduced us...when he yelled "HOLY S--T! RAY GET YOUR FINS ON! GET IN THE WATER! GET IN THE WATER!" as he was frantically pointing to something 25ft or so off the bow.

Took a moment to realize it was a diver on the surface, face down, drifting away in a decent current.

When I reached her I had to really struggle to get her righted, and found that she was completely unresponsive, blue as blueberry, regulator in place but not breathing, and foaming from her mouth. (As I write this - more than a year later - it still makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and my heart race when I recall that image.)

Last time I ever saw this woman she was being hoisted off our deck in a basket lowered from a Coast Guard helicopter...



Seems her buddy laid out the same plan you describe above. Just like you, her buddy made "sure the plan was understood and accepted prior to the dive." You can imagine the confusion the "buddy with the plan" had when she climbed the ladder to find the buddy she sent up the line 10 minutes earlier...laying unconscious on the deck, cut out of her suit, receiving CPR.

Mike Tyson was once asked what he thought about the fact that his opponent in an upcoming bout claimed to have a plan to defeat him. Tyson's response was a classic quote that transcends boxing...applying to everything in life:

"Everyone has a plan... until they get punched in the face."

 

[Wookie]

I used to think this was a great approach, but had my eyes opened last year.

As a crew member on a local boat I meet lots of divers. Last year I met a woman who was "perfectly fine" when she was put on the anchor line by her buddy and sent up on her own. The way I met her was the interesting part.

The captain introduced us...when he yelled "HOLY S--T! RAY GET YOUR FINS ON! GET IN THE WATER! GET IN THE WATER!" as he was frantically pointing to something 25ft or so off the bow.

Took a moment to realize it was a diver on the surface, face down, drifting away in a decent current.

When I reached her I had to really struggle to get her righted, and found that she was completely unresponsive, blue as blueberry, regulator in place but not breathing, and foaming from her mouth. (As I write this - more than a year later - it still makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and my heart race when I recall that image.)

Last time I ever saw this woman she was being hoisted off our deck in a basket lowered from a Coast Guard helicopter...



Seems her buddy laid out the same plan you describe above. Just like you, her buddy made "sure the plan was understood and accepted prior to the dive." You can imagine the confusion the "buddy with the plan" had when she climbed the ladder to find the buddy she sent up the line 10 minutes earlier...laying unconscious on the deck, cut out of her suit, receiving CPR.

Mike Tyson was once asked what he thought about the fact that his opponent in an upcoming bout claimed to have a plan to defeat him. Tyson's response was a classic quote that transcends boxing...applying to everything in life:

"Everyone has a plan... until they get punched in the face."

At least you got a body back. My situation like that we never saw the diver again. Ever.