Question and Answer (a game)

[suthnbelle]

Oooh. Well, let me tell you... there's alot to choose from. I've been in so much trouble that I might get in trouble just for answering that one.

Well, why don't you amuse us all and give us just one story.

Where's your question?

 

[teknitroxdiver]

I'm not grown up, probably never will....

But anyway, probably the most trouble was when my english teacher thought I was smarting off to her. (I wasn't, promise!) She did the whole "Alright, go to the Office!" After which followed lecturing, ordering and 'stern recommendations". She almost whipped me but I guess she decided not to. (whew!)

I'll just pass that question along, since mine wasn't all that interesting......

 

[Scubakevdm]

Well, why don't you amuse us all and give us just one story.

Where's your question?

Well, okay. I was raised in the Catholic church, and went every Sunday to mass. It was required. My family, except for my father, was very disorganized and kinda freeflowing. Getting all of us, (my mom, my brother Dave, and my sister Anne and me) dressed and into the car was not easily done and almost inevitably, we were late and would quietly sneak in and sit at near the back.
One Sunday, for reasons that elude me, we were early. We proudly proceded to the second pew from the very front and sat quietly, my brother and I on either side of our father.
Now, having to spend so much more time than we were accustomed to at church began taking it's toll on Dave and I and we began to get fidgity. We got fidgity and started to play the secret games we played in church, like having kneeler races.
The Catholic mass used to have parts that you were supposed to be kneeling for, and to make this a little more comfortable they had kneelers, which were padded beams with two or three legs, that folded down in front of your seat. During the standing and sitting parts of the mass, you rolled the kneeler up out of the way. A kneeler race was a contest to see who could get their kneeler into the down position and be kneeling first. One more thing you should know is that the kneeling parts were the most solemn and quiet parts.
Now, I know that this has been a long time coming, but bear with me now, 'cause it'll all pay off here in a minute. At the most solemn of all kneeling parts, in an effort to pull ahead, Dave flops the kneeler down and pounces onto it with all of his weight in one swift and fluid motion. Unfortunately, my father's big toe was dead center under the leg of the kneeler. While everyone else in the congregation quietly knelt, my father stood frozen in pain, his arms locked straight, fists clenched, and screamed. It was powerful tenor note that warbled a bit. The accoustics of the church gave it great fullness and depth. He was with out quetion the center of attention as even the preist stopped the mass, looking on amazed.
Now, I cannot understand how we could have been the only ones laughing in the whole church at this point with something so funny going on, but we were. We laughed uncontrolably, and could not stop. My mother laughed so hard she pee'd her pant's, which made the rest of us laugh even harder. And so in front of everyone, with the mass still at a dead stop, my family, limping and urine soaked made their way out to the parking lot and left mass early.
This is not my most trouble either, in fact it wasn't any trouble. I opted for this much more entertaining substitute.

And a pass the question along as well.

 

[teknitroxdiver]

LOL! That reminds me of a couple of church stories.

One my dad told me: When he was a kid, the church had a sloped wood floor (Yep, half yall can see where this is going already!), so it made lots of noise when people walked. But that's not the best part. My dad and his little brother were playing around a little while his dad was on the stage. Playing with marbles that is. Of course, being little kids, they dropped one. KERTHUNK! ROOOOOLL! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! as it pinballed off of every chair leg on the way to the front. Finally it hit the stage with a loud KERTHUNK!! Oh boy. Needless to say, they weren't doing much sitting down for the next few days!

One about my sister: My family has always been the disiplinary type, so misbehaving could (and often did) result in a whipping. One day, again during church, my sister was acting up. Dad gets up, takes her by the arm and leads her straight up the middle isle and out the back. Simple, right? Not really. Because the whole way, she was screaming: "Save me! Save me!". (She was about 5 at this time)

(for all above statements, keep in mind that my family is related to 90% of everyone who goes to that church)

Hee hee hee! Hope she don't read this thread......

 

[baltimoron]

alright- I am adapting this to shul here. Consider this post kosher for the masses.

so we have this game during services called "the Penis game" now how it works is that you go along in a circle saying the word, and next person has to say it louder every time... yeah yeah I know, but we were 13 and giggly. so it gets to a whisper, than a mutter, than an utterance, than a low roar. thing's are getting risky. there area bout 300 people in the shul here and they are all pretty religious. now you find ways to just sliiiiip it in there, like saying it in a prayer that EVERYBODY is saying at the same time, to try to muffle it out, for instance, "ufros alaiah penis shlomecha!!!" but now it was during the sermon, so it had to be REALLY ballsy. now my friend, god save him, has no sence of right nor wrong. and so he just screams out, "WHAT THE HELL IS A PENIS?!?" everything stops. EVERYTHING. even the old ladies in the back that NEVER stop talking stop. the babies stop crying- the frums stop shuffling. the rabbi just looks up, cocks his eyebrow, says, "Yeah, you sure trumped everybody else...." everybody laughs a VERRRY uncomfortable laugh, and the show goes on. later, he had to have a chin wag with the rabbi. the rabbi told him that when he was a kid, it was "the Phallus game" and that he shouldn't be so loud next time. that was all...

most embarrassing Langauge mix-up? (I have a GREAT one, not from me.... but my father but from my father trying to learn hebrew in the 70's.)

 

[alemaozinho]

I once was sitting in the last row in my Church Congregation(i was 30 at that time) and my butt did hurt so much caused by the hard wood church benches,more than i could stand it.It was an extended service during Easter so that it would take at least twice the normal service duration.I was wiggling around all the time to stop my butt from falling asleep while the Priest continued his speech.During the Holy Communion i tried to get more comfortable and tried to cross my legs over.At this time the church was so quiet that you could hear a needle falling,my O-Ring blew as soon as i lifted my right leg to cross them over.It was one of those very loud rumblin farts you can hear about often in movies. I instandly felt the heat rushing into my face as the whole congregation turned their heads towards me.I propably could lit up a Photographers dark room with my face at that time! I,ll never forget the faces of the older ladies and the killing looks they gave me.The Priest was so out of it that he started the whole Ceremony again right from the start.I left the Church earlier that day to avoid confrontation.

 

[suthnbelle]

New question:

What does your favorite coffee mug look like or say?

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

Its my ScubaBoard Coffee mug!

Beer or wine?

 

[suthnbelle]

Its my ScubaBoard Coffee mug!

I got to get me one of those!

Beer or wine?

If I have to chose one it would be beer.

Best song that would describe your personality?

 

[H2Andy]

Best song that would describe your personality?

my wife would say (of me) "Trucking" by the Grateful Dead

I would say "Pipeline" (the surf instrumental)

keep the question going