Not so long ago, I was standing in your shoes overthinking, over researching, over spending, and drinking more than I should trying to figure out what to buy. 6 years later I'm the proud owner of at least 8 bcd's.....
My take is a little different. I find these truths to be self evident-Everyone is right. Not any one bcd is right for everyone, one size does not fit all, and Epstein did not kill himself.
My advice, unless you just want to amass a collection of bcd's when you can only dive one at a time is to beg, borrow, rent, or steal all of them. Pool dive them where you can, some shops have a try before you buy program. The options are damn near limitless and your bcd needs to fit your needs. If most of your diving will be on trips, some bcd's are more travel friendly. Don't want to mess with setting up a backplate or softplate and wing, look at a back inflate bcd. Like the hug of a jacket type, your options are never ending.
My goto rig is a softplate and wing because it is more travel friendly and is customized to my needs. YOUR choice may not be my choice, but it's absolutely right for you. The only way you will know what is best for you is to dive as many as possible. You will probably end up upgrading or changing the set up once you get some dives under your belt...it happens to us all. Don't ask me how I know.
A serious crack habit would be cheaper, but much less interesting. Dive everything you can, then narrow down your choices. Ultimately you will still make the wrong choice and spend more on something else later, but all that money isn't going to spend itself and none of it will matter once the virus kills us all.
Good luck with your search,
Jay
Founding Member of Gear Whores Anonymous
Jay nailed it! Make sure that there's no question that you folks are going to be divers before you buy anything besides a mask (maybe booties and fins).
There are far more people out there that were going to take lessons or did get certified, then bought all their gear or a bunch of it, and then found out that they didn't really take to it after all and the reasons for that are numerous.
That's why there's often next to new gear available on resale sites.