You might have seen this, but for those that haven't.....
> > These are things people actually
said in court, word for word, taken
down
> > and now published
by court reporters. How did they keep from laughing while
these were all taking place?
______________________________________________
> Judge:
"Well, Sir, I have reviewed this case and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
> > Husband: "That's fair, your honor. I'll try to send her a few bucks
myself."
______________________________________________
> > Q: What is your date of birth?
> > A: July fifteenth.
> > Q: What year?
> > A: Every year
______________________________________________
> > Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
> > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
______________________________________________
> > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> > A: I forget.
> > Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've
forgotten?
______________________________________________
> > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> > Q: How long has he lived with you?
> > A: Forty-five years.
______________________________________________
> > Q:
What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
> > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> > Q: And why did that upset you?
> > A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________________
> > And where was the location of the accident?
> > A: Approximately milepost 499.
> > Q: And where is milepost 499?
> > A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
______________________________________________
> > Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
> > A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
______________________________________________
> > Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
> > A: After the accident?
> > Q: Before the accident.
> > A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
______________________________________________
> > Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and
blue lights flashing?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
> > A: Yes, sir.
> > Q: What did she say?
> > A: What disco am I at?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> > A: Would you repeat that question, please?
______________________________________________
> > Q: The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> > A: I resent that question.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: She had three children, right?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: How many were boys?
> > A: None.
> > Q: Were there any girls?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
> > A: Yes.
> Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> > A: By death.
> Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Can you describe the individual?
> > A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> > Q: Was this a male or a female? _______________________________________________
> > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
that I sent to your attorney?
> > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
> > A: OK.
> > Q: What school did you go to?
> > A: Oral.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> > Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at
the time?
> > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an autopsy on him.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for pulse?
> > A: No.
> > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > A: No.
> > Q: Did you check for breathing?
> > A: No.
> > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
> > A: No.
> > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> > Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
> > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law somewhere.
tony
> > These are things people actually
said in court, word for word, taken
down
> > and now published
by court reporters. How did they keep from laughing while
these were all taking place?
______________________________________________
> Judge:
"Well, Sir, I have reviewed this case and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
> > Husband: "That's fair, your honor. I'll try to send her a few bucks
myself."
______________________________________________
> > Q: What is your date of birth?
> > A: July fifteenth.
> > Q: What year?
> > A: Every year
______________________________________________
> > Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
> > A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
______________________________________________
> > Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> > A: I forget.
> > Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've
forgotten?
______________________________________________
> > Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> > A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> > Q: How long has he lived with you?
> > A: Forty-five years.
______________________________________________
> > Q:
What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
> > A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> > Q: And why did that upset you?
> > A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________________
> > And where was the location of the accident?
> > A: Approximately milepost 499.
> > Q: And where is milepost 499?
> > A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
______________________________________________
> > Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
> > A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
______________________________________________
> > Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
> > A: After the accident?
> > Q: Before the accident.
> > A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
______________________________________________
> > Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and
blue lights flashing?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
> > A: Yes, sir.
> > Q: What did she say?
> > A: What disco am I at?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> > A: Would you repeat that question, please?
______________________________________________
> > Q: The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: And what were you doing at that time?
> > A: I resent that question.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: She had three children, right?
> > A: Yes.
> > Q: How many were boys?
> > A: None.
> > Q: Were there any girls?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
> > A: Yes.
> Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
> > A: By death.
> Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Can you describe the individual?
> > A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> > Q: Was this a male or a female? _______________________________________________
> > Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
that I sent to your attorney?
> > A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> > A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: All your responses must be oral, OK?
> > A: OK.
> > Q: What school did you go to?
> > A: Oral.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> > A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> > Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at
the time?
> > A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an autopsy on him.
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
_______________________________________________
> > Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for pulse?
> > A: No.
> > Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> > A: No.
> > Q: Did you check for breathing?
> > A: No.
> > Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
> > A: No.
> > Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> > A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> > Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
> > A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law somewhere.
tony
I wonder how many of these generated contempt charges?
