Just squish the oring and service the valve periodically.
"Saving" the stem oring is not worth the potential confusion about whether the valve is open or not.
I have to wonder about this idea of avoiding confusion. This is my thought process.. perhaps it is faulty?
I like to check the valves on tanks before people splash. What I do is grab the valve and GENTLY try to turn it back and forth maybe a quarter turn. Once I have determined that it is not in a locked position, I will open the valve all the way - GENTLY so as not to squish the O-ring, and then back it off 30 degrees or something.
Now if I grab a tank valve of a diver who is ready to splash, and it does NOT move back and forth, then it presents a question. Is the valve completely shut or is it cranked open?
You really can't tell without applying considerable force.
If it is actually off, and you try to crank it closed, then you are squishing a seat. If it is actually all the way open and you decide to try to open the valve, now you are really squishing the o-ring. So there seems to be no sure fire way to turn the valve to check for position if you don't already know for sure it is either cranked open or cranked closed.. And obviously, if you actually know that information, then there is no need to verify it.
So to check someone's valve you need to turn it either clockwise or counter clockwise and depending on if it is entirely open or entirely closed, then you have the potential to actually damage the valve components as you attempt to "help". You either hammer the o-ring or the seat because you must determine the valve position by moving the valve.
On the other hand, if the person has opened the valve fully open and backed off a quarter turn - then the handle will turn back and forth easily and "testing the valve" has really zero potential to damage either component of the valve (seat and stem o-ring).
So from my perspective, cranking the valve open hard and squishing the O-ring is really NOT helpful in avoiding confusion. Keeping the valve just a little loose does help to avoid confusion.
I personally have no problem with a buddy checking my valve. If I am going to trust them to dive with, then I am pretty sure I trust them to VERIFY my tank valve position.