I don’t know what the criteria are, or would be for getting past ‘starting to solo’ and think how much solo under the belt is irrelevant to what you described. Ok to call a dive for any reason, any time is the standard. It’s just that much easier when solo, no one to explain to or fret over you and what/why you made the choice.
I’ve been badgered (well meaning no doubt) with; What’s wrong? Are you ok? What’s wrong? Are you ok? enough to seriously reconsider the call and/or making it in the first place. (I just didn’t want to, OK!) Being solo means no keeping up with the Jones’s and not having to say you’re sorry.
I think you are right on the money with your evaluation of the dive, both during and after. Recognition, assessment, action and contemplation of what can be learned for the future.
One aspect of solo that I find particularly appealing is the ease of doing just what you did – change plans midstream – responding to the current or the now, and not feeling locked into doing underwater what I thought I wanted to do when on land
I give a lot of thought to a solo dive before the dive. Not so much the week before but the day of. What is my mental and physical status? What is a realistic manageable task load balanced with what I want to do. Or, would what I want to do be more task loading than I’d feel fine were I with a buddy. Am I fit to do my desire?
Using your example (it reads like) of not sure you knew where you were, that possibility is a big task load for me – I have a great fear of getting lost. Ergo I ain’t going solo deep no where I’m not 90% certain I won’t get lost. I figure solo and diving are two big task loads, one more to = 3 is my general limit. It’s a mental effort to set myself up for success (fun) and hold back the greed (pushing limits, kissing the beach.) Live to dive another dive.
For some reason I was mentally solo from the start. Never did or do any mental attitude switching between buddy or not (as in; I’ve got a buddy so I can relax type of thing.) I listen very closely to myself, my thoughts and actions. And question myself far more than any buddy has, always looking for some sign or symptom indicating all is not well.
Yes I’ve been uncomfortable, and for no reason I could find or put a finger onto. As I dive merely for pleasure, it’s relatively easy for me to justify backing off as the objective is to have fun. Why do it if it’s not fun?
I say backing off because so far I’ve pretty much just stopped heading toward a goal and found something else that was fun to be doing while breathing submerged under water instead. And I don’t consider any of them a demerit of sorts but a change of plan. Ok, for some reason not happy at 75’ and jim dandy at 60’, 60’ it is, whatever.
One of my first questions when feeling uncomfortable is; “Do I want to be here?” So far have yet to answer no but have a script prepared for what I am presuming will inevitably happen some day. Otherwise it’s just a matter of readjustment to reestablish ‘in comfort zone’.
I’m no expert but for myself at least, I’ve found problems are best nipped in the bud when diving. Nothing gets better if I ignore it and everything becomes real hard to fix by the time I can’t ignore it any longer. What I’m meaning by ‘problem’ is something relatively minor, that if left unattended tends to turn into a big problem. Say mask leaking repeatedly. If I ignore it long enough my buoyancy gets whacked and soon I’m mentally bashing myself for wasting so much air trying to get it back to neutral and looking like a dork. Cripes if anybody sees me they’ll think I’ve no business diving let alone solo….it’s just a spiral in the wrong direction. Especially considering all I had to have done is halt, get the chunk of hair off my face, clear and resume.
All the more true when feeling confidence is shaken, particularly when no obvious reason. I look for frailty. Could something else outside of the dive have left me susceptible? An unjust accusation or unkind comment I can take harder than I should and for me, it’s a kick in the self confidence that leaves a bruise. Diving solo is a big confidence in ones self. If not the actual diving, the common tone in the community is near to damming. It’s a challenge from the get go to do something so brash and stupid in so many peoples eyes. It’s like squeezing on that already sore spot. I ask myself what would make me comfortable?
When we are alone we have only ourselves to look to for support. No one there to tell us we are being silly and nothing is wrong, we have to be our own best buddy. When diving solo I strive to be as nice to myself as I would to a loved one, far nicer than I usually am to myself. No heckling or name calling, no pressure, just listening closely and alert for where assistance would be welcome.
As far as anyone else knows, you planned to study the sand and play with the fishies, and the buoy was just a navigational aid to help you get to nowhere.
