Jokes

[diverman]

Hey peeps.
Got any good jokes? Put em here i wanna hear em! Long as their not too dirty mind ya some people might take offense.

 

[scuberd]

ok this one is the greatest joke ever, and the later it is the funnier it is:

A bear and a rabbit are taking a crap in the woods. The bear looks over to the rabbit and sais "does the crap ever stick to your fur" "no" the rabbit replied,

So the bear whipped his a** with the rabbit

 

[Ontario Diver]

So then, Saul and Eli are hanging out in the bar after a round of golf.

Saul says to his best friend "Eli, Do you think that there is Golf in heaven?"

Eli thinks and say "I don't know. But I'll tell you what - whichever of us who dies first. He comes back and tells the other."

So they agree and a month later, Saul goes to his maker....

Two days later, Eli is about to tee off and he feels a spooky presence. "Saul?" he says.

"Eli, I've come back to tell you about heaven. And I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that there are hundreds of great courses in heaven. Never any waiting to tee off. Always get good bounces. The greens are like pool tables.

The bad news is that you are in my foursome for Thursday morning."

 

[peter]

How many dyslexic's does it take to change a light blub

 

[sdexcalibur]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree..................................



Because he was dead

 

[sdexcalibur]

Why did the chicken fall out of the tree.........................


Because he was holding on to the monkeys tail

 

[srkdvr]

:mean:

Heard about these two riding down the road on a Harley, they passed a billboard with a Hot Model holding a beer. They guys girl said, "I bet if I drank a six pack of that you would think I would look like her." And the guy said, "NO!" "If I drank a six pack of that, then you would look like her."


Rich

 

[diverman]

Two cannibals were hunting in the woods and they happened upon this big field surrounded by trees. In the middle of the field was a beautiful blonde. THe son said to the father "dad can we eat her?" The father quickly said, "No son, we'll take her home and eat your mother"

 

[diverman]

Hey Peter,

You never did say how many dislexics

 

[Chrismac]

Bertha was very depressed. Her husband of 50 years had just commited suicide the day before. She decided that she would join her husband by killing herself. The only problem was, she had to think of where to shoot herself so it would end up killing her.

Bertha drove over to her doctor's office and asked him where your heart is. He told her right below the left breast, so she went home.

Bertha grabbed her husband's gun and shot her left knee.