Hi TSandM,
On the straps, just to clarify: I had the waist strap cinched right around my waist, and then the crotch strap as tight as I could get it without pulling the waist strap down (one dive I had it too tight and the waist strap kind of dipped down into a V in the front center, which I didn't like).
But the crotch strap being loose must be a common thing, as the boat captain also suggested I tighten it. I couldn't visualize how that would work, but as this was at the end of the day I went back to the shop to figure it out.
When I got back to the shop and was able to take it off and consult with the shop owner, he confirmed that no, the crotch strap tightening would not affect the shoulders in my case because where the waist strap goes through the plate is fixed and can't be adjusted up and down (well, if one were willing to not have the waist strap around one's waist then it might make a difference, but my... erm.. bustle starts just below my waist, so the waist strap is not going to go down!).
So, I could lengthen the crotch strap and the waist strap would ride up; but tightening it would not bring the waist and shoulders down because... hips in the way.
Just to clarify, I had asked to have the shoulder straps loosened a hair the first day, because the gliders for the D-rings were digging into my skin a little bit on my arms/chest. The shop had wanted them a little bit tighter, so it wasn't that they had misadjusted it. So, we tightened them and it fixed the problem of major movement for the remainder of my diving, although really the Regular-sized plate was just a bit too long for me. The Small plate they had for sale fit me just right - with the waist strap around my waist the top of the plate was not above my shoulders.
I know, a picture would be worth 1,000 words!
Okay, the the "dongle-less" string for a bottom dump must have been on my rental wing. The instructor was under the impression that Halcyon rental wings did not have dumps, so I didn't look for it (they are slightly different and have a yellow band of color around the outside of the doughnut) . But then I found it just before I turned my gear in at the end (until you clarified I couldn't remember if it was on a for-sale one that I had tried on at the shop on the last day). It is a bit hard to see as it is just a black string with nothing on the end. Definitely would have made things easier!
I did end the trip wishing we had more time to dive, and I've been dreaming of diving since then, so the bp/w was helpful

On the very last day we went snorkeling, and yeah, that is just super "fishy" feeling, but it's also very fun to be down there diving, and I enjoy the planning and buddy aspects too.. Given how much better things were with the bp/w (and with having mostly the same gear for a number of dives in a row), I can only imagine how nice it would be with my own gear! For myself, almost undoubtedly would choose to buy a bp/w with the one-piece harness*.
B.
*Now there is something I learned by renting the gear before buying. I probably would have bought one of the "comfort" harnesses if I had decided to buy before using one.