HUMOR: How do these people survive?

[scuberd]

I sold replica medival swords at the Northern California Renaissance Faire. they were all out for the public to handle and purchase, and were VERY dull for saftey sake. People would come in, run their fingers the length of the blade quickly and then complain that it was dull. if they were sharp we could have had the biggest thumb collection in history.

 

[cottim]

Do you think PADI could create an "I'm Stupid" certification?
This would create business opportunities for some dive shop owners and instructors.
Eh eh eh eh !
:baby:

 

[wobbegong]

We call 'em muppets.
Most Useless Person Padi Ever Trained.....

 

[SPEEDSTER]

thanks all, I needed this thread today!!

-mike

 

[Natasha]

We had a phone call awhile back. The lady said, "I want to go to Canada." We said, "Where in Canada?" She answered, "You know, downtown Canada."

 

[budgy]

Hi Natasha,
How much did you charge her?

 

[landlocked]

The other night, at my part-time, second, gotta have money to dive, job. We had a situation where we needed to multiply 300 and 10. Honest, the young lady went looking for a calculator! When I suggested she just try it in her head she said "I really don't know how you people can do that!" Employee of the Month material for sure.

 

[budgy]

Hi landlocked,
We have been allowing children to use pocket calculators from their early childhood since the invention of the Sinclair microprocessor, its funny but its also tragic.
Perhaps they hired her for moral

 

[Darian Dunn]

The dumbest thing I ever saw, was the guy who ran into the Exit sign on the interstate. He could have stayed on the interstate. He could have gotten off the interstate. But instead, he “decided” to run into the exit sign on the interstate.

I have spent a little time wondering about this topic. How do these people survive? Are they self-aware (Do they know how dumb they are?)? If they don’t, are they happier than we "usually" smart people?

Then again, we all have those brain dead moments. My recent brain dead moment revolves around network issues, an electrical plug connected to a light switch. The techs on this list already know the story. It was just say how long it took me to figure out what happened.

 

[Fishkiller]

One day a drunk man told the bartender, "I'll bet you $100 that I can bite my right eye." The bartender grinned and said, "Okay, you drunk." The drunk pulled out his right fake eye and bit it. After more drinks the drunk said, "I bet you $200 I can bite my left eye." The bartender knew it could not be fake, so he said, "Okay." The drunk pulled out his dentures and bit his left eye. The bartender, by now was really mad. After a few more drinks, the drunk said, "I'll bet you $500 that if you slide a shot glass down the bar, I can hop on each stool and pee in it without getting a drop on your bar." The bartender knew he could not do it so he said okay. The bartender slid the shot glass as fast as he could. The drunk jumped on stools and peed all over the bar. The bartender jumped up and screamed in joy because he won $500. In the back he heard, a man yelling in frustration. He asked the man why. The man replied, "That drunk fool bet me $1000 that he can pee on your bar and you would be happy about it!"