Humor: Famous Sayings

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TexasMike

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(This bit of humor was sent to me via email, and I thought I would share it with you. I did not create this and the name of the original author was not included in the original email. I hope you enjoy it! --TM)

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775.", he said.

“Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"?

Again, no response except from Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Martinez.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Martinez says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher fainted and as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, we're in BIG trouble!"

Martinez said, "The Taliban! 2001."
 
The measuring term "Close" only counts in the following units...

Horseshoes
Hand Grenades
Tactical Nuclear Weapons....

and Botchi..that italian game where you roll balls....
 
:rofl:
 
ScubaBabe22:
The measuring term "Close" only counts in the following units...

Horseshoes
Hand Grenades
Tactical Nuclear Weapons....

and Botchi..that italian game where you roll balls....

Don't forget garbage trucks. Ever been "close" to a garbage truck? Believe me, it counts.

BTW it is Bocce.

W
 
ScubaBabe22:
The measuring term "Close" only counts in the following units...

Horseshoes
Hand Grenades
Tactical Nuclear Weapons....

and Botchi..that italian game where you roll balls....

Russian Roulette.

"My Uncle was the #2 Russian Roulette player in the states" Badly mis-qouted from some crazed comedian on Bob & Tom show
 

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