How to be a good buddy

[Lela]

I'm newly certified, which to me means that now I'm at the starting point and need to work toward developing skills and learning more. As part of this, I'm interested in what experienced divers consider 'good buddy' etiquette, or to flip that to a more interesting question - what are the things that you consider red lights, that would make you say 'no way do I want to dive with this person.'

Thanks!

 

[Griffo]

If I may, I will respond to the original question, which is what makes a good buddy. And my response will be what I would like to think I am as a buddy, and what I want from a buddy.

The first is good communication well before the dive has commenced - agreement on dive plans, duration, gas planning, max depths etc. This will set the tone for the rest of the dive. Some people are "same ocean" buddies, i subscribe to the "my buddy is my lifeline" theory.

The second is watching what they do on the surface while gearing up, are they carefull and thorough, do they check all their gear while seeming calm and confident? Or are they stressed and non confident. If they show signs of stress I try to make an assement of how stressed, and either talk to them further to try to hep settle them, or make a assesment of if I am now the "in charge" diver.

The third is a good buddy check - not just a cursory "oh is your gas on" but a thorough overview of their dive gear. If they go through their setup properly, this generally means that they will listen when I describe mine. This is super important - I am relying on them to dump weights, make me bouyant etc in case of emergency, if they don't listen now, will they be able to respond appropriately?

A good buddy will never rush through any of the above, a good buddy will always be patient, understanding, and positive and encouraging. We were all once novice divers, we should encourage and be helpfull through the above steps. Dont worry if a newish diver seems stressed through the above, but make sure that you stop, think, and talk it all through before getting wet.

Next we are in the water, are they in control - do they need to be reminded to inflate their BC to stay above the swell? I always look for this as a sign that someone is stressed and remind them gently. Or laugh at them as appropriate (i recently jumped in off a boat sans fins, and my buddy recognised that I was much happier being mocked than any other reaction).

Next during the descent - is my buddy OK? Have they not enough weight or too much air in their BC to descend? Are they OK equalising? The best thing is to remain very close to your buddy- not much point if you are at 30ft before you realise that they are still on the surface. Constant checking of their status during the descent will mean that both of you will be feeling more comfortable. Their is no such thing as too many "OK" checks in my mind.

During the dive - keep an eye on your buddy or know where they are at all times. It's sooo easy to lose someone in bad vis. That doesn't mean you need to be at their hip at all times, but choose a distance appropriate to the site and vis, and never enter a situation where you will lose visibility of them for an extended time.

Communication - you agreed on it before the dive right? Never ever ignore a thumb on a dive. Never question or query it. A thumbed dive is over, immediately IMHO. You read too many stories where a diver thumbs a dive, their buddy questions it, and somone ends up dead.

Check air regularly - i've had insta-buddies give me strange looks when i've asked for their air - who cares if a DM is on your dive, it's your buddy and your air as well as theirs, so you have every right to ask. Don't make it every 2 minutes, but often enough that you get a general feel for their air consumption and where they'll be at any point compared to you.

Next is the ascent - keep a close eye on your buddy, particularly if one of you is shooting an SMB - it's very easy again to lose people when task loaded. If your buddy is having problems during ascent, i'd keep an extra close eye on them.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Good topic ... everyone learns that they should dive with a buddy, and so it behooves us to understand what that means ... both for ourselves and the person(s) we choose to dive with.

Let's start with a fundamental concept ... diving with someone else means that we need to be able to communicate. In scuba diving, this has several aspects ... many of which are unfamiliar to us at first, because we can't talk to each other underwater.

Communication starts with the dive plan. Both of you should be informed of what it is ... if not directly involved in creating the plan. Both of you should know ... before you enter the water ... where you're going, how deep, for how long, and what the expectations of the dive are. Having a good dive plan, and making sure that everyone who's involved in the dive understands what it is, sets the expectations for what the dive will involve. It puts everyone on the same page before you get in the water ... while there's still a chance to talk about it and answer questions.

Now, things can change once the dive gets underwater ... which is why communication underwater is also important. So once the dive gets underway you need to be able to see your dive buddy, and vice versa. This puts positioning ... swimming to be seen ... pretty much at the top of the buddy skills list. On most open water dives, swimming to be seen means side-by-side ... where all it takes to see each other is a turn of the head.

The most basic form of communication underwater is hand signals ... and developing a good lexicon of hand signals helps divers interact better. If you're diving with an unfamiliar buddy, going over hand signals together should be part of the pre-dive briefing ... so that when you use or encounter signals underwater you know what they mean. There are other means of underwater communication as well ... dive slates or wetnotes to write on, and in some cases using dive lights to signal each other. The latter is particularly useful in night or low-visibility conditions to keep track of each other. Dive lights have a limited range, so if you occasionally place your light in a manner that your dive buddy can see it without effort, it tells him that you're there. We call this "passive communication", and for those of us who frequently dive in low-vis conditions it's a very effective way to keep track of each other.

Diving with a buddy takes a certain mentality ... you have to think of the dive as "our" dive, rather than "my" dive ... because sometimes you'll have to modify what you want to do in order to accommodate your dive buddy. This is a matter of priorities ... and sometimes it can lead to interesting "conversations" underwater ... but in order to be a good buddy you need to put the team ahead of yourself. An example of this would be if you saw something off to the side you wanted to explore, before heading in that direction you need to signal your buddy, get their attention, and point out where you want to go. Either both of you need to go together or you don't go. This is putting team first, and self second. It's a mindset ... any time you want to deviate from the dive plan ... or even just stop and look at something ... you need to think of your buddy first, and make sure you're doing it together.

I have an article on my website that might explain things a bit more ... NWGratefulDiver.com

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[currier]

What are the things that you consider red lights, that would make you say 'no way do I want to dive with this person.'

I had a buddy once (I reiterate ONCE) who had the nerve to rock up to the site without an AAS. When I asked about his gear and config., he just laughed to himself. Needless to say I conducted that dive within a solo mentality.

 

[shmuggy]

The most important thing a buddy must do is to be nearby and competent to assist you if you get in a situation. Most dives start out with a dive briefing - you should both be paying attention. If you are lucky- you have people you can dive with and do not have to get paired up with someone on the boat on many of your dives. If that is not possible, then have a talk with your insta-buddy and come to agreement on staying together, when to end the dive, some basic hand signals and do an equipment check to set a tone that this is a serious endeavor. If you have problems with a buddy- never hesitate to decline to dive with them again, even if it feels rude. Hope you have fun.

 

[Griffo]

The last part that I forgot to mention, is once you are on the surface, you need to once again keep an eye on your buddy. I put it almost squarely on the rescue course that I did, but since that time i have noticed so many divers who ascend from a dive, but are then not adequately buoyant on the surface. You seen them ducking under waves rather than floating over them, taking in water, struggling to swim back to the boat, but too proud to say anything. Keep an eye on your buddy, and remind him/her to fully inflate their BCD, whether via the inflate button or manually. People seem to forget, and will even ignore your initial comment or advice. They teach you on rescue to say everthing at least twice - during the course I thought it was overly dramatic, but since then I have seen it in reality with numerous holida divers. I've seen tired divers ignore the advice, twice, three, even four times, but eventually listen, then suddenly their trip back to the boat is so much easier. A good buddy keeps check until their buddy is back on board and sitting down.

 

[Crush]

If someone is bragging about their gear and their skills, that is a red light. Go for the quiet person sitting in the corner of the dive boat who has very well-worn looking gear, especially if that person is on a first-name basis with the dive boat captain and crew.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

If someone is bragging about their gear and their skills, that is a red light. Go for the quiet person sitting in the corner of the dive boat who has very well-worn looking gear, especially if that person is on a first-name basis with the dive boat captain and crew.

Not necessarily so ... three or four years ago I was on a boat out in Neah Bay ... where Puget Sound meets the Pacific ... it's one of the more rugged and scenic places to dive around here, and only diveable a few weeks out of the year. There was an older couple on board ... well experienced, amiable, and diving in very old, well-worn equipment. Their gear was so old, in fact, that they didn't even have octos or spg's. They didn't learn how to dive with them, and still don't.

The way these people dive is they stay down until one of them runs out of air ... then they CESA to the surface. They do this every dive ... just as they have been doing for more than three decades. Works for them ... but these folks would make terrible dive buddies for most of the people reading this thread.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Jim Lapenta]

The buddy system in Scuba was based on the old standard of always swimming with a buddy and in the US was taught like this in swim classes put on by the YMCA. And while it has social connotations and benefits these were not the primary motivating factors in teaching and using it. The prime motive was that if one of you had a problem the other could help. That idea has slowly been degraded into the social aspects as skills necessary to assist a buddy were removed from some scuba programs and held over until later courses. In the early days of formal instruction it was understood that most, if not all divers, once certified, would go out with a buddy almost immediately and dive without the supervision of a dive "professional" as instructors came to be called.

And so they were taught the basic skills necessary to do just that. Buddy breathing or air sharing, dropping weights at the surface to assist a buddy to get and stay positive, rescue tows while stripping gear, and bringing an unconscious or incapacitated diver up from depth. Depending on the local environment there may also have been instruction on freeing a buddy from line, dealing with a lost mask, and other items unique to where the divers were training and would most likely dive.

Communication was also highly stressed and began when the decision was made to dive. Not when they arrived at the site as is so often done today. In the early days it could be a logisitical challenge to get gear, air, and site access so detailed planning was necessary. Buddies also needed to know each other since often they were the only help available to each other.

Planning a dive as team rather than relying on guide or dm was also a necessary skill since those were generally not even around. It was also necessary to stress the importance of staying close enough to your buddy that you could help each other. Now since diving then was also kind of a macho sport it didn't always ahppen this way once out of class but in the class you still learned proper procedures.

So with this is mind what makes a good buddy to me? Number one is someone I can effectively communicate with.
Two, they are someone who shares similar interests and more importantly has a similar philosophy when it comes to just what a buddy is.
Three, they have the experience, training, and skills to do the dive WE plan.
Four, they have been trained in proper buddy positioning. For me that means no more than a 1/4 turn of the head is required to locate them.
Five, they understand that should the stuff hit the fan the abscence of either of us could mean serious injury or death to the other or possibly both.
Six, they have the necessary skills to assist me and themselves in an emergency. And if they don't I will train them to or I'm not diving with them.
Seven, they understand that even though we are looking out for each other, we alone are ultimately responsible for our own safety as individuals. Strong individuals make a strong pair or team. Weak individuals put the entire team at a higher risk. So I want to knowI can count on them.

Finally they need to be able to not succumb to any kind of pressure from ANYONE to do a dive they are not comfortable with and that either of us can end the dive at any time with no reprecussions of any kind.

That is what I want in a buddy and that is why I train every new OW student to be all of the above.

 

[DivemasterDennis]

See my blog " Keep Your friends close and your buddies Closer." Here on scuba board. Also, The Scuba Snobs Guide to Diving Etiquette BOOK 2 (available on amazon or bn.com as e-book or paperback) has a humorous but informative chapter of the same title that gives a lot of tips on buddy diving and buddy etiquette.
DIvemasterDennis