How do I help someone quit smoking?

[tchil01]

When I quit smoking (it was a long time ago, thank god) I needed something to replace reaching for a cigarette. There were always times I would light up.... driving, after dinner, after.. well, you get the idea. Anyway, instead of reaching for a cigarette I started chewing gum. Once you get through the true physical withdrawal you need to change behaviors and that's what the gum did for me.

Ty

 

[dgrosvold]

If you're truly interested in helping him quit smoking, then I have some suggestions:

1. Don't smoke around him if you or his other friends are smokers, refrain from it when he's around - for now. When he's been off them for a while (90 days) then he should be able to tolerate it.

2. Don't take him out partying (I mean drinking, socializing in clubs, etc. since there's a lot of smoking in those places, and it's a common place for a smoker to light up.

3. If you're willling to spend money, buy him a box of the Nicoderm CQ Step 1 patches. They work - but only if the smoker really wants to quit.

4. Have some substitutes for cigarettes around - Lifesavers, gum, hard candy.

5. Don't keep asking him how the quitting is going - he'll tell you if he wants to talk about it.

I smoked 2-3 packs a day for 30 years - full strength cigarettes - no wimpy "lights" for me. In 1997, after my second severe upper respiratory infection, and a wife who had started smoking 2 years earlier in self defense (it's the only way she could tolerate the stink - we'd only been married 3 years at that time,) I decided that enough was enough. I was coughing uncontrollably all the time, wheezing in my sleep, and so addicted that my body would wake me in the middle of the night to have a nicotine hit.

Anyway - I knew the only way to go was cold turkey - "cutting down" was not an option, and self-delusion never worked for me ("Cutting down" is crap - it's just a way to rationalize the fact that you're still smoking.)

So I quit. It was rough. No - it was a nightmare. I couldn't think of anything else. I shook. I hated everyone. If I could just have one... No! I'm quitting. Arrrgghh!

A friend of mine had tried to quit using the patches. It didn't work. He smoked while wearing them. I figured it wouldn't work for me either. I went and bought some of that nicotine gum. Yuk! That stuff is nasty.

I'm at work the second day of my last attempt. I'm chewing the gum. I hate it. I'm pacing the floor. A co-worker who had quit a year earlier said "Why don't you try the patches?" I said "Aww, those things don't work do they?" She said "They did for me. Here - I've got one left in my purse that I've carried around. You take it."

I put the patch in my pocket and forgot about it. I said "I'll think about it. Thanks."

I smoked two cigarettes that day.

Well - that night I was laying in bed tossing and turning and basically tearing the bed apart trying to get through the night when I remembered that patch. I got up, found the patch, and put it on. I went back to bed. I could feel the nicotine spread from the patch down my arm, then around my left side and down my leg, a sort of warm glow... I woke up the next morning with a good night's sleep. I got ready for work, jumped in my rig, and was half of the 15 miles I drove to work every day when it hit me - "Damn! I haven't even thought about smoking a cigarette yet this morning!"

When I got to work - I called my wife & said "Go buy me a box of those patches. I think they're going to work." She was thrilled & rushed right out and bought a box of the patches (they're cheaper than the cigarettes - so no complaints about the cost.) I wore the patches every day as directed, then "stepped down" as suggested. Each time I "stepped down" I noticed would be irritable and shaky for the first day, but it would pass. By the end of the - or 4 week program of patches, I was off of them.

What the patches did was curtail the nicotine withdrawal symptoms so that I could concentrate on the "habit" stuff: reaching for my cigarettes in my shirt pocket; reaching for a cigarette whenever I got in my rig to go somewhere; lighting up after a meal; smoking while talking on the phone, yada yada.

By the time I was on the lowest patch level, I was no longer reaching for the cigarettes all the time. I had broken the "habit" and was about to break the nicotine addiction. I used Lifesavers and other hard candy as a substitute - whenever I "reached" for a cigarette, I grabbed a Lifesaver, and that satisfied the "habit" until I didn't have to reach any more.

Hooray! I've been a non-smoker ever since - 5 years now, and it seems now like I've never smoked. I no longer wheeze at night. My endurance and stamina have come back. I can work in the barn with the horses and not get winded while putting up hay, feeding, clearing weeds, etc. It's great! My buddy that tried the patches & decided they didn't work. He then had a heart attack resulting in a six-way bypass. He no longer smokes, but he only quit because he would die if he didn't. I'm glad I didn't have to go through that!

I had to stay out of the clubs, the restaurants, and away from my smoking friends for the first few months, but now I can hang with them. My best support was my wife. But I had friends who were willing to help by not smoking around me - and by waiting for me to get smoke free.

I'm sorry this message was so long, but I hope it can help someone else who's trying to quit.

-- DCG

 

[socaldiver]

I agree that the patches sure make life easier.

In my profession however, I have smokers around me puffing away and to be honest, it reallt doesn't bother me to see them smoke. I do feel though that I am getting "my share" of smoke from them. At night when my shift is over my lungs are hurting pretty bad. I don't have any craving for a smoke. I did the step 1 patch for a few days and now I carry one with me but try not to even put it on. When I feel a "need" I pop a Starlight Mint in my mouth and presto no more urge.

Sandy, you have received a lot of replies to your friend's situation. I hope it helps you and your friend. Just remember to be there to support and encourage them. Don't nag or harass. If they are a true friend you will accept them no matter what. We all have our faults.

 

[dgrosvold]

I did the step 1 patch for a few days and now I carry one with me but try not to even put it on. When I feel a "need" I pop a Starlight Mint in my mouth and presto no more urge.

I'm glad you were able to get by with just a few patch days. I HAD to have the patch just to get through the day for the first couple of weeks, on the lower steps, I suppose I could have gotten by, but I felt that using them as directed would help it "stick." It did.

 

[MSilvia]

when a friend of mine and I were both trying to quit was to "make it interesting". The first one to have a cigarette owed the other $250. That's a lot to spend on a smoke.

It made it really easy for me, but unfortunately I didn't pick a very strong willed friend, and once I had the money it was less than a week before I folded like Superman on laundry day.

I don't know how you could apply it, but the "penalty factor" was extremely effective.

 

[socaldiver]

MSilva,

Although the "penalty factor" may work, to me it is just a "temporary fix". You even mention it yourself that once the other participant fudged you reverted back yourself. That, IMHO, just signifies that neither of you were truly serious about quitting. No Offense.

If someone wants to quit smoking, THEY MUST come to terms with it first and set it in their mind that they want/need to quit. Then they can deal with the other obstacles along the way.

Just my opinion.

dgrosvold,

I agree with you my friend. The patches do work, provided the person using them wants to stop. They do have different reactions for different people. When I would be flying to different locations I would throw a patch on (step 3) just so I wouldn't have a craving while in the air. If I get an urge now and the mint isn't doing it's thing, I will throw a patch on for a few hours just to get over the hump. I figure I will probably carry some level of the patch for a few months just to be on the safe side.

 

[MSilvia]

I wasn't serious about quitting for good. I occasionally have given up smoking for up to 11 months at a time before relapsing, but have never been able to avoid the eventual "just one."

The point of my "penalty factor" thing wasn't that it would be a good idea to try exactly what I did, so much as that having an immediate negative repurcussion to smoking can make it very easy to get through the initial "jones" of quitting. I don't believe there's anything that can be done to help someone quit for the long term. They have to want that for themselves badly enough.

 

[tinman]

As a non-smoker who has lived & worked amiably with smokers, I have observed a few things that may be helpful:

1) Apparently, stopping smoking will add a lb. a month to your girth as a result of reduced stimulants...it was one of the earlier promoted benefits of them. So I would suggest your friend add an exercise and diet plan to his strategy (Try giving him Bill Phillips Love For Life book).
2) Within minutes of stopping smoking, health benefits begin: carbon monoxide levels in the blood,etc. I believe that lung tissue regenerates to non-smoker profile within ~ 3-5 years.
3) Food tastes better and sense of smell improves.
4) Diving bottom time should likely increase.
5) Amazing number of scuba divers smoke - are we seeking early death or missed the part about oxygen & healthy lungs being a good thing to have underwater. Hopefully the diving will be an incentive to help promote stopping the habit.
6) Less likely to spend a good portion of his life in poor health and doctor/hospital offices.
7) Best reason I've heard for stopping smoking: "It started to interfere with my diving!"

That's the view from the cheap seats - certainly earlier posts from those that have gone through the process have a lot of wisdom...

 

[danceswithoctopus]

Tinman, uh, "Tell your friend to get past the B.S. and face his demons"? How about STFU? You never smoked, you've got no idea what it's like to quit.

At 35 I realized I had smoked over half my life. It was tough to quit. I didn't change any habits except that. I put on weight as expected. But I still hung out with the smokers at work, even took a lighter and lit their cigarettes for them (to reinforce to myself that I was in control). But I drew inspiration from the words of my then 3-year old son (see my profile), "Daddy's smoke, don't they?"

Not any more.

Sandy, good luck to your friend.

 

[tinman]

Earlier post edited. Apologies for inappropriate language. The older you get, the more brain farts I suppose. Good luck with your buddy. This issue is loaded with emotion in today's world, in and out of the water...