The thing is not that you were a louse, or did anything wrong. I think what's being pointed out by some, and myself is that many people think we're being helpful when in reality we don't realize how sensitive a person is and we're just insulting them.
I have seen it happen where right after the first insult they perceive they shut down entirely, and you didn't even mean an insult. You could have said hi in the wrong tone of voice and that screwed the pooch right there and then. No way to know.
The problem is, we weren't there and have no basis to judge things on, in fact this entire thread is worthless for anything.
What can we learn from it? We have a clueless diver who didn't take advice and acted high and mighty, even to those with better credentials. What is to learn from that, just that this is human nature. We know that your group tried to talk to her and failed, so we don't have a method that worked to learn from.
There just is nothing here we can learn and beyond saying dang, that was some pathetic training she got. We can't change a thing the next time around because we don't know any details to help there. In person there are things that go beyond what we say that affect conversations, you can have an entire conversation without speaking a word with the right person. There have been times in diving when I said take your time gearing up, we want to do it right when my body expressions were saying hurry up you lout... Whether they knew that or not depended on how they are at reading people.
The only thing we can take from this thread is that there is probably a way to reach her, but we will never discover it here because she's not participating here. I think you guys did the right thing by talking to her, I think that you just didn't use the right method. I knew one guy who is a great pilot who would quit flying the plane if you raised your voice. He could not handle it at all, locked up and nearly killed his instructor that way, this was during his multi engine training. Turns out that his Dad was very abusive verbally and when he heard loud voices he'd just retreat into his head. The voices didn't have to be loud either, just have the tone in it his Dad used, from that point forward he quit responding.
That is why I and others have suggested that maybe the method of communications was not right for her. What more can be said? Unless she comes here this is the best that can be said, she goofed up big time, bragged too much, didn't take advice. But why? What could have been done differently? No way to know.