The Gospel
In the beginning was the word, and the word was God,
In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void and without form,
So God created the Heavens and the earth, He created the Sun,
He created the Moon and the Stars, so that light may pierce the darkness, The Earth, God divided between the Land, the Sea, and the Air, and He filled them with many creatures.
The dark slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans God called Sailors, and He dressed them accordingly.
The flighty creatures of the air He called Airmen, and these He clothed in uniforms that were dull and drab.
The lower creatures of the land, God called Soldiers or Squaddies, and with a twinkle in His eye and a sense of humour that only God could have, He gave them trousers too short, jackets too large, and pockets to warm there hands in. To adorn their uniforms He gave them badges and cords and ribbons and patches and stars and emblems and all manner of shiny things that glittered, and devices that dangled, because when you are God, you tend to get carried away at times.
On the seventh day, as you know God rested, and at 0600hrs on the eighth day He looked down upon the Earth and was not happy, He definitely was not happy.
So He thought about His labours, and in His infinite wisdom, He created a divine Creature and called it a Royal Marine. These Royal Marines, who God created in His own image, were to be of the Land and of the Sea and also of the Air, and He gave them many wonderful uniforms.
He gave them practical fighting uniforms so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and Evil. He gave them smart suits for their daily work and training, so that they would be ready and sharp at all times. And He gave them evening and dresses uniforms, stylish handsome things, so that they might promenade with the ladies on a Saturday night, and impress the hell out of everybody.
At the end of the eighth day, God looked down at the Earth, and saw that it was good, but was God happy? No God was happy at all, and why? Because in the course of all His labours, He had forgotten one thing, God did not have a Royal Marine uniform to wear!
So He pondered and thought it over for a long time before finally satisfying Himself in the knowledge that,
NOT EVERYONE COULD BE A ROYAL MARINE
PER MARE PER TERRAM