I am compelled to comment on the original post because I was in the exact same situation once
I was on a dive expedition to the North Sea to dive some wrecks, About six months prior to leaving for the trip I met a woman who would later become my wife and was able to get her aboard. this would be the first time she ever saw a scuba diver, much less a technical diver.
Well on the very first dive we lost a diver, the details I wont go into as they are not relevant. but we spent a great deal of time searching for him, we where interviewed by Scotland Yard, we where all very upset by the situation, my wife so much so that we got the boat to bring us into shore and we stayed on land the next day while others searched. My wife did not understand the dangers involved and was not prepared for when something did go wrong.
My point of this is that I truly understand what the person writing this post is going through, and there is value in writing it down right away so the facts do not become confused with the nightmares as time goes, not to mention for legal reasons. I too wrote a long account of the situation in my dive journal the day it happened and then added stuff over the next two days as they developed.
My experience has taught me a couple of things which I would like to share
most importantly maintain a level of respect for the diciest, we where not next to her during her dive so we can not say what exactly happened, things like saying oh she just panicked etc can be very hurtful to those left behind.
I agree that there is value in looking at the situation but we need to do so without placing blame for several reasons
number one: as a certified diver you are responsible for yourself and your buddy, the DM is not your babysitter, it is up to the diver to be prepared to do the dive, that means ask questions about the dive, do the research prior to arriving so you know there is a strong current, be physically fit to do the dive.
number two; if something does go wrong, don't look to blame it on someone, nobody said diving wasn't dangerous and if things go wrong and you have not prepared for it then death is on the list of outcomes
number three: dive within yours or your buddies limits whom ever is the least experienced, least fit, etc. you need to have a discussion with your buddy to make sure this is good for both of you, this is especially true for spouses / partners as one may be keen and the other not prepared but does not want to burst the others bubble
number four: somewhere along the line diving has changed to where the DM is babysitter, they check your air, adjust your buoyancy, watch that your not to deep, keep you together with your buddy, even Carry your gear. this over dependence has resulted in an expectation and even a disappointment when your on a trip the DM simply says ok the boat has anchored over your dive site just jump in when your ready. Most divers today are not prepared to do a dive in a new location or environment without serious baby sitting.
anyways, I truly feel bad for the family and all those involved in this situation, it is terrible when someone you know even if for a short while has such a tragic end, and I believe part of that feeling we get comes from the fact that we know it could have been us just as easily.
Next time a dive operator or certifying agency tells you that diving is a safe sport just tell them that if that's so then you will not sign the liability release and see how much diving you do. This is a dangerous sport and you are the only one you should count on to prevent yourself from being discussed here as we are today.
