Funny diving stories for the book I should write....

[Christi]

So Ron has a great thread about rules going. Something came up tonight that made me recall several funny stories, craziest/stupidest things I have witnessed and heard from divers over the years. I'm sure all of you have some funny stories as well! I'll start with a couple of my favorites - these are TRUE stories!

There was the guy who wrote asking how he was going to do a two-tank dive if his BCD would only hold one tank! Even after I wrote him back and politely explained what a two-tank dive was, he wrote back saying that I had not answered his question - "Did I have a special adapter for his BCD which only held one tank." He was an "advanced" diver.

I also love the story about the guy that was standing on the pier wanting a ziploc bag so that he could SOAK his lead weights before the dive - if they weren't soaked, h would weigh more once they got wet!

Share some of your hysterical dive moments!

 

[Mitchell Teeters]

That last one sounds like a fools errand.


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[Christi]

That last one sounds like a fools errand.


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I really HOPE that's what it was! He sure was serious and convincing if it was!

 

[Mitchell Teeters]

Face/palm


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[kmurray719]

One, um....."special" diver...on a trip I was on told me he had finally figured out why his buoyancy was so off on one of the dives....there was WATER in his BC and it was making him negatively buoyant. In the water. It certainly wasn't because he was overweighted and not putting any air in his BC to compensate for wetsuit compression. No siree!

 

[cvchief]

Oh I could tell you a funny one. This one time I.... wait, that one is about me. Never mind...

 

[MSDT476614]

1. friendly race between a new instructor and a seasoned dog on a crowded dive boat. boat is tied up to the buoy, both instructors get racing to gear up, the noob jumps in and declares a WIN! after 10 seconds .... the winner asks for booties and fins.

2. instructor stands on dive platform at stern and gives final brief before all starts jumping in. as the briefing is going on the 15m spool decides to unclip itself leaving the double ended snap with an eye of line on the BCD's lower D-ring and the spool goes for a 13m dive first.

3. while on a wreck course (Igara - wreck with stern/engine blown off and towed back to make another ship) covering 4 large open cargo holds (about 30m x 30m or 100' x 100') with decking of about 10' between cargo holds, we swim dead center across three cargo holds in a stern-bow direction just above deck level. vis was about 60'/20m or so. post dive debrief for initial wreck dive:

Instr: 'Did you all see how large the cargo holds were?'
Diver: 'What cargo holds? We swam over 4 small ships right?*'

* This was after research online had to be conducted to obtain previous maps drawn and history of the wreck etc and covered during theory session.

4. on an 'away' trip to the Maldives a couple of divers were constantly at 15m to 20m depth while the rest were usually 5m to 10m deeper. when asked why: 'we wanted to save air so that we can dive longer'
Q: did you see the school of eagle rays at 45 or so?
A: yeah, lots of black dots! really nice!

5. intro to cavern course, post theory during dive brief:

Instr: on this dive we will attempt a shallow short cave with a large opening and no branches, the entry depth is at 12m and we will ascend up the slope to 7m covering a distance of about 20m. any questions?

Diver: you're telling me this course requires going into caves?

6. rescue diver training. diver kits up while giving out instructions and requests for assistance blah blah blah .... jumps in for a missing diver search and comes right back up. "MY MASK IS BROKEN MY MASK IS BROKEN!!! FLOODING FLOODING!!! HELP HELP!!! give me a new mask!!!"

"try turning your mask upside down with the nose cone down, might help ...."


heh ... probably some of its not so funny when read as opposed to seen and heard .... contextual perhaps ....

 

[TONY CHANEY]

How about two AOW students going back and forth at the dive site. One says' " don't say anything or I'll tell everyone when your fins did not fit properly." Come to find out the he was trying out the fins with the inserts still in.

 

[koozemani]

How about two AOW students going back and forth at the dive site. One says' " don't say anything or I'll tell everyone when your fins did not fit properly." Come to find out the he was trying out the fins with the inserts still in.

One of my sons did the same thing last summer at a scuba rangers camp. At the end of the day he was complaining that he needed new fins because his were hurting his feet.

 

[Sue Sue]

My DH and I took our newly purchased Galileo dive computers out for the first dive of our vacation only to find that both of them were shutting off for brief periods of time throughout the dive. Fortunately we also have backup gauges and did not have to call the dive. So after a frustrating 60 minutes or so we reached our safety stop very disappointed as we thought that we purchased a couple of lemons. This was until we realized, practically at the same time , that the problem did not occur while we were close to each other, such as sitting next to each other on the boat for our pre-dive gear check, but only when we moved more than a couple of feet apart, which was out of our transmitting units range. We chuckle still today at our EUREKA moment when we realized we had inadvertently switched our identical computers. We admit that we both felt rather foolish as we surfaced for not realizing sooner what the problem was. Oh well, lessons learned . First we have added identification to our computers which is now part of our pre-dive gear check. And second, stop and think and try a bit of common sense if you have a problem.