Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[Tackle Berry]

There are bold divers and old divers, but there are no old bold divers.

 

[Mudd]

[A DM on the subject of night diving with sharks]

"If you see a shark and you get scared, just turn off your light and the shark's gone."

 

[alecto]

My family had a boat that we would cruise around the back bay in. One day, we were going a little faster than usual and water was spraying up into the boat. My grandfather yelled, "Slow down, you're getting the boat wet!"

On a boat I also try to remember to ask the DM where is the best spot from which to aim for distance. I get seasick easily:/

 

[Diver_Phil]

When I worked in a dive shop very close to Beverly Hills, I had a rich, spoiled middle-aged customer ask me how a snorkel is used.

Not just how to attach it, but how to breathe through it.

I wish I'd offered him some special breathing lessons, with a specialty certification in mouth-breathing. It would have been an extensive 2 week course.

Would have been awesome to hear him tell people he is a certified mouth breather! lol

 

[dive_turkey]

:headscratch:

Bear in mind that a typical paramedic is somebody that has been educated beyond their intellect.

 

[DuBa]

"Divers are some of the most calm, composed and stress-free people I know. I'm just not sure whether it's calming effect of the sea or brain damage from lack of oxygen..."

DM on a liveaboard

 

[Goodtime Adventures]

Haha, we've had a load of funny comments and questions over the years. Some of our favourites are......

"Does my pressure group change when it rains?"

"Will I get lead poisoning from the weights?"

And our ultimate favouite "What do I do if I get a fish in my mask?"

Never a dull day

 

[Aguablanco1]

What do you call a dive professional without a girlfriend?








Homeless.
RichH

 

[Mustard Dave]

What do you call a dive professional without a girlfriend?








Homeless.
RichH

What's the difference between a dive professional and a pizza?


A pizza can feed a family of four!

 

[teecup]

Thank you for the laughs! ... Innocent Q: Is there ever a time when fish actually gets in your mask? Hehehe

Haha, we've had a load of funny comments and questions over the years. Some of our favourites are......

"Does my pressure group change when it rains?"

"Will I get lead poisoning from the weights?"

And our ultimate favouite "What do I do if I get a fish in my mask?"

Never a dull day