OK, since my wife isn't on Scubaboard I can tell one on her.
We went to Crystal River, FL to dive with the Manatee. What a zoo. There must have been 100 pontoon boats round "the hole" and countless divers. Being intrepid newbies we weren't going to let that keep us out of the water. We jumped in and swam to the descent location. As we descended it became more and more crowded. It was like a sardine can. After a while I could not locate my wife and finally decided to surface. She was there with a strange look on her face. She had lost track of me but found someone with gear similar to mine. She pulled on my (His) leg and signaled that she wanted to surface. After several tries without a proper acknowledgement, she decided to use the wifely privileged tact of grabbing and squeezing my (his) crotch. You can imagine her surprise when she finally got mask to mask only to discover it was not me.
She said he looked a little shocked. I'll bet he did.