First dive with a different buddy - not fun. :(

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Andy_HFC

Contributor
Messages
84
Reaction score
4
Location
Lisburn, United Kingdom
# of dives
100 - 199
I'm sure you've all had some unenjoyable buddy experiences, so i just wanted to ventilate one of mine!

I'm a recently qualified diver AOW, and at the time had only 12 logged dives including my first OW dive.

My fiance and i had arranged a diving break. However long story short my fiance couldn't dive so i was paired with another diver. The guy was ok, diving for 20 years and was AOW himself, i explained my lack of experience and dive history.

I have never dived with someone else so we ran through our buddy checks, and he was a little aggressive in his checks and made it clear that he was more experienced and the dive was to be conducted on his terms. I was ok with this, although didn't like the way his hand signals were the reverse of everything i learned in my PADI training.

He had asked me to keep an eye on him descending as he had ear problems, which was fine as i have had a few probs myself previous. As we descended down the line to 26m the vis was zero, i lost track of him, and when i eventually got to the bottom he didn't seem very pleased and was giving random had signals and i couldn't work out what was going on. I could hear him breathing noisily but he said he was ok and we proceeded to dive. He kept grabbing my console and checking my air and at one point grabbed me to try and explain something. I kept giving him the ok signal and he nodded back at me, never learned that signal, i was always told to respond with my hands.

After 5 mins i signalled i wanted to ascend. So we did. I had a computer, he didn't. His ascent was rapid according to my computer so i signalled to slow down. He didn't, so i eventually caught up and did a safety stop at about 5m. It was difficult as the swell was building. Computer said i was safe so i surfaced.

On the boat he explained he wasn't happy with me, said my bouancy was poor, i didn't have my octo sercured and i didn't signal correctly. I explained his ascent was rapid, he told me not to worry about him and forget "those things" pointing at my new Mares puck. He then kinda poked fun at how i reacted in bad vis. I have had bad vis before and that wasn't my concern, but i figured arguing my side was never going to work, so just said fine whatever. He also shouted about me constantly turning to see him when he told me he would always be on my right, but the difference was he could see me, but i couldn't see him. Not much use if I got into difficulty.

In hindsight i know i had problems, i took out my octo to ask him to hang on to it as the vis was so bad and we didn't have a buddy line (something my instructor did with me once - worked then). Perhaps not a good idea, as i couldn't get it secured properly as to be honest i became a little stressed by him.

I should have ended the dive earlier, but i felt it was just my inexperience and wanted to do the dive. I wasn't stressed out, just a little nervous.

I did make some errors i'm not debating that, but it really knocked my confidence when he got stuck into me on the boat.

I apprectiate he was more experienced and some stuff he did made sense. I would just like to ask if anyone has a similar situation with a less experienced diver that they consider how to deliver such information!!

I did the next dive with him by his rules and it was ok. But i didn't really enjoy it as by this stage i decided i didn't like him! ;)

I know there are some dives you will enjoy and not others, and it was a great experience, if not a steep learning curve. I just can't get it out of my head and feel like a bit of a prat.

Can't wait to get diving again with my normal buddy!

rant over, thanks!
 
Andy_HFC

Diving with an insta-buddy is always challenging. If there is a disparity is experience then it can be trickier. As someone who has buddied with traveling board members here and away as well as other guests in our area and as someone who likes to dive with new divers I have an appreciation of what you are talking about. So far the experiences have all been positive for me but I have seen enough glitches to see where you are coming from.

1. Predive discussions need to be fairly thorough.
2. The dive needs to be within the comfort zone of the less experienced diver. This is not the time for a trust me dive of to test ones resolve.
3. The experienced diver needs to lead, be a host and buddy, not just uses the other diver as a sacrificial buddy so they can get into the water.
4. Both divers but especially the more experienced one need to recognize that some dives are duds. Conditions are not as predicted, new divers are sorting configurations skills and everything else.

All in all with 12 dives, going to 26 M, finding crap visibility and having a recalcitrant buddy I think you did good to stay in control and follow your training.

Besides, what else did you expect for dive # 13?

Pete
 
There are definitely right and wrong ways to give tips to newer divers. It sounds like this guy may not know any of the right ways. At the same time, you should be open to suggestions for doing things a different way. They may not make sense but may be perfectly okay. The big thing to watch out for are suggestions for doing something in an unsafe manner. If you start hearing little alarm bells in your head when talking to somebody, it is best to heed those bells.

I wouldn't let this put you off of diving with insta-buddies though. Some of them can be very pleasant to dive with. Just keep diving!
 
It's a drag that he was a jerk about things. It's all about communication, and someone with a heavy-handed style who is unwilling to consider your input is not a good time.

Many of my dives are with insta-buddies. For the most part, it's a positive thing, as you get exposed to variantions in how to do things. It goes OK as long as before the dive, signaling is worked out, you take a moment to familiarize with each other's gear configuration, work out who is navigating and where you're going, and what the conditions are for ending the dive and surfacing. My few bad experiences are with people who do something totally different from what we worked out beforehand.
 
"experienced diver" means many different things to many different people. I had a guy come into the shop last week to get a replacement card. He was vastly proud of the fact that he had been diving for 20 years and had 20 or 30 dives.

When getting to know an instabuddy, the question is not "how long have you been diving?" it is "tell me about your last few dives"

I absolutely will not do any sort of aggressive dive with an instabuddy, ever.
 
Cheers guys. Like i said i know i made some fundamental errors, but at the same time i did learn some vaulable info, like really going over your signals, and detailed attention in a buddy check as his gear was totally alien to me. Same with the dive brief. All part of diving!

I would dive with a new buddy again, but i think i would follow my gut and trust MY judgement, experienced or not.

Well you've all cheered me up a bit and thanks for the advice, all duly noted.

I'm on dive 16 now and am alot more comfortable with depth which is a big step for me, been to 20m+ now 5 times. Made the latter 18m ones very enjoyable which is even better.

Starting to feel like "proper" diver now, kinda felt like i was still earning my OW certificate for a while there!!! :)
 
I am glad you didn't write off all insta-buddies after that terrible adventure :)

Some of us here don't have a built in buddy (my spouse will not dive :( ) and if we want to pursue the sport we are required to get into the insta-buddy pool on a regular basis.

Sure we all get the terrible insta-buddy but then we also meet people who at other points in our diving become a buddy we have dove with before.

But then saying that I would never dive again with the insta-buddy you talked about in the first post :)
 
I'm lucky my fiance dives, a real plus. Can't imagine having to dive with instabuddies (love that term!!) all the time, but i'd imagine you'd gain alot too from diving with different people and their experience and set ups etc.

Don't think i'd dive with him again either!! I'm not the best at accepting criticism either from people i don't like, but i'm learning that the hard way too! :)
 
sorry to hear about your experiance, sounds like the guy was a complete :dork2:
a regular phrase said among the diving community is "all divers are nice people" but there is always the exception to the rule and in my experiance they are normally so called "experianced divers"
Trust me, the diving community is a fantastic place to make true friends, probably some thing to do with relying on you buddy with you life in times of trouble.
Keep on diving we are not all like that.
 
It looks like to me rather than taking it in stride that you were a new diver he intead made it a point to show you how new you were. He could have taken this opportunity to bolster your confidence and of course offer helpful adice. It does not sound like he did that, sounds to me like he did not want to be saddled with you and had a bad attitude. I don't dive with people who have a bad attitude.

As to the ascent rate, if I am on the Tables, I ascend at 60/30 fpm, if I am on my computer I ascend at it's recommended rate, sorry, we would have to decide ahead of time what we were going to do TOGETHER and then that is what we would do including possibly ditching your Mares puck to your dive bag---lol.

I have a buddy and his computer does not ever seem to agree with mine to a significant degree. You might want to decide ahead of time who has the "master" computer.

Good luck, sounds to me like you did very well considering his attitude to make you feel inferior.

N
 

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