scubadog76
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why do elephants drink? It helps them forget.
elephants
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NurseShark
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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
So it can hide in a cherry tree.
Why would an elephant hide in a cherry tree?
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No?
See how good it works!
What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?
You walk him & pitch to the giraffe.
That's all the elephant jokes I can think of at the moment
So it can hide in a cherry tree.
Why would an elephant hide in a cherry tree?
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No?
See how good it works!
What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?
You walk him & pitch to the giraffe.
That's all the elephant jokes I can think of at the moment
To put out forest fires!!!
Why do elephants have big feet...
to put out burning ducks!
Why do elephants wear tennies...
'Cause ninies are too small, and elevenies are too big.
What do you get when you cross a cat with an elephant???
Why, a flat cat, of course! (you should have known this already)
:tease:
Why do elephants have big feet...
to put out burning ducks!
Why do elephants wear tennies...
'Cause ninies are too small, and elevenies are too big.
What do you get when you cross a cat with an elephant???
Why, a flat cat, of course! (you should have known this already)
:tease:
Father, mother and son decide to go to the zoo one day. So they set off and are seeing lots of animals. Eventually they end up opposite the elephant house. The boy looks at the elephant, sees its willy points to it and says, "Mummy, what is that long thing?"
His mother replies, "That son, is the elephant's trunk."
"No, at the other end."
"That son is the tail."
"No, mummy, the thing under the elephant"
A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, "Thats nothing." The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question.
"Daddy, what is that long thing?"
"That's the trunk, son" replies the father.
"No at the other end."
"Oh, that is the tail."
"No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation.
"That is the elephants privates. Why do you ask son?"
"Well mummy said it was nothing," says the boy.
Replies the father: "I tell you, I spoil that woman ..."
His mother replies, "That son, is the elephant's trunk."
"No, at the other end."
"That son is the tail."
"No, mummy, the thing under the elephant"
A short embarrassed silenced after which she replies, "Thats nothing." The mother goes to buy some ice-cream and the boy, not being satisfied with her answer asks his father the same question.
"Daddy, what is that long thing?"
"That's the trunk, son" replies the father.
"No at the other end."
"Oh, that is the tail."
"No, no daddy, the thing below," asks the son in desperation.
"That is the elephants privates. Why do you ask son?"
"Well mummy said it was nothing," says the boy.
Replies the father: "I tell you, I spoil that woman ..."
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Damn", says the ant, "one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Elephant: A Mouse built to government specifications.
Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Q: How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
A: Two in the front, two in the back.
-------------------------------------
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
------------------------------------
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
------------------------------------
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
------------------------------------
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: The door won't close.
------------------------------------
Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
A: There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.
------------------------------------
Q: How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?
A: By the footprints in the butter.
-------------------------------------
Q: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
A: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch".
-------------------------------------
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
-----------------------------------
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
--------------------------------------
Q: How do you get an elephant into a VW?
A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.
---------------------------------------
Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
---------------------------------------
Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen?
A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back
----------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
A: Can't get the fridge door closed.
-----------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a VW parked outside it.
-----------------------------------------
Q: How do you get 8(!) elephants in a fridge?
A: Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW's in the fridge, A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two VW's!
------------------------------------------
Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.
--------------------------------------------
Q: What did the fifth elephant in the VW discover?
A: The sun roof.
---------------------------------------------
Q: The Lion (king of the animals) gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?
A: They were stuck in the VW.
--------------------------------------------
Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW?
A: None, the elephants are in there!
----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
A: Optimistic!
---------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
A: It's bike is outside. (He's probably buying O-ring a drink...)
----------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.
A: Two in the front, two in the back.
-------------------------------------
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
------------------------------------
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
------------------------------------
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
------------------------------------
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: The door won't close.
------------------------------------
Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?
A: There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.
------------------------------------
Q: How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?
A: By the footprints in the butter.
-------------------------------------
Q: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
A: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch".
-------------------------------------
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
-----------------------------------
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
--------------------------------------
Q: How do you get an elephant into a VW?
A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.
---------------------------------------
Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
---------------------------------------
Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen?
A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back
----------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?
A: Can't get the fridge door closed.
-----------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a VW parked outside it.
-----------------------------------------
Q: How do you get 8(!) elephants in a fridge?
A: Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW's in the fridge, A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two VW's!
------------------------------------------
Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.
--------------------------------------------
Q: What did the fifth elephant in the VW discover?
A: The sun roof.
---------------------------------------------
Q: The Lion (king of the animals) gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?
A: They were stuck in the VW.
--------------------------------------------
Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW?
A: None, the elephants are in there!
----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
A: Optimistic!
---------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
A: It's bike is outside. (He's probably buying O-ring a drink...)
----------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.
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