Dork Divers Manifesto

[SoggyShoes]

Can we get extra DORK points (maybe towards an ADD card) if we have excessive pockets, d-rings and retractors? If so, this will be the final straw in getting me to add a pocket to my drysuit. I bet I could get quadruple points if I added pockets to my wetsuit! This would give me a place to put my….. oh something.

I was thinking that dorks should be required to have at least one retractor but then I realized that the true dork doesn’t care about requiring what others should or shouldn’t have (with the obvious exception of some of my current dive buddy’s gear).

Can we get extra points if we were mocked for being a dork for packing everything and then later they needed something from our extensive save a dive kit (my vehicle) to keep their dive weekend from being over? (This actually happened twice.)

I tried to learn the piano but that was too hard so my teacher had me switch to the clarinet and finally one of those plastic recorders. Does that qualify?

 

[SoggyShoes]

I would think the fact that I accidentally posted basically the same message twice would automatically qualify me.

 

[mjatkins]

It seems that the realization has happened that to be a viable association, Dork Divers will have to offer several more levels of training to meet the needs of the industry. I submit that an entry level course is needed, where new dorks can dive only under direct dork supervision. This cert would be called the Dork Restricted Open Water New Diver (DROWND). Then one could progress through the Dork Diver, Advanced Dork Diver (ADD), and Dork Master ratings. Dork Master (DM) being the first professional Dork rating attained through the Dork Career System (DCS). Working your way through your DCS would culminate in the most sought after dive professional rating of Dork Ocean Leader/Trainer (DOLT).

Just a thought.

 

[pir8]

Can we get extra DORK points (maybe towards an ADD card) if we have excessive pockets, d-rings and retractors? If so, this will be the final straw in getting me to add a pocket to my drysuit. I bet I could get quadruple points if I added pockets to my wetsuit! This would give me a place to put my….. oh something.

I was thinking that dorks should be required to have at least one retractor but then I realized that the true dork doesn’t care about requiring what others should or shouldn’t have (with the obvious exception of some of my current dive buddy’s gear).

Can we get extra points if we were mocked for being a dork for packing everything and then later they needed something from our extensive save a dive kit (my vehicle) to keep their dive weekend from being over? (This actually happened twice.)

I've had students ask if theres anything I can't pull out of my car after I pulled out a power inverter to pump up the mattress for my tent. Of course I had already brought out a full tool set and spare hoses to get his reg going again. Does this qualify me for my DorkCard? Does it Huh Huh. Does it?

 

[webjr]

This cert would be called the Dork Restricted Open Water New Diver (DROWND).

Love it!

 

[Divin' Dave]

Tang was invented for the space program, suitable for we Dorks, me thinks. Can we get some freeze dried snacks for the SI? Dork Juice and Dork Bars for the SI? Berry flavored.
Could we get DUI to make a plaid dry suit? And there should be not just front pockets as an option but two butt pockets, one with a button closure, as well. Come to think of it, why not a denim coverall look for the dry suit? Corn cob pipe snorkel anyone? Any color but black except for the Harley-Davidson model with the leather flap eared helmet, that is.
We can have our Dork Gift Shop sell a special knife kit with a pattern for converting into split fins the millions of scubapro jet fins. Spray paint in flourescent colors included in the kit of course.
What can we do with the canister lights? And backplates with wings - boring.
Fish could enjoy a little entertainment, don't you think?

 

[grassyknoll]

Tang was invented for the space program, suitable for we Dorks, me thinks. Can we get some freeze dried snacks for the SI? Dork Juice and Dork Bars for the SI? Berry flavored.
Could we get DUI to make a plaid dry suit? And there should be not just front pockets as an option but two butt pockets, one with a button closure, as well. Come to think of it, why not a denim coverall look for the dry suit? Corn cob pipe snorkel anyone? Any color but black except for the Harley-Davidson model with the leather flap eared helmet, that is.
We can have our Dork Gift Shop sell a special knife kit with a pattern for converting into split fins the millions of scubapro jet fins. Spray paint in flourescent colors included in the kit of course.
What can we do with the canister lights? And backplates with wings - boring.
Fish could enjoy a little entertainment, don't you think?

My God I don't know why this didn't occur to me earlier!
When you gain advanced levels of training you change your wetsuit. The wetsuits MUST be modled after Star Trek/Starfleet uniforms-Red Top/Black Bottom for OW (ensign)-Blue Top/Black Bottom for AOW (okay, I'm lost now-engineer?)-Yellow Top/Black Bottom for DM (really lost now-officer?) etc....
The uniforms also must have the Starfleet logo on the breast.

 

[under water]

Could we get DUI to make a plaid dry suit? And there should be not just front pockets as an option but two butt pockets,

Hopefully DUI will carry zip pocket protectors to match the suits.
Heck they already look like StarTrek uniforms!

 

[paraizo]

Behold The Dork God!!!

Where do i sign for the t-shirt?

 

[SkullDeformity]

Are hydroptix masks dorky? I vote yes.