Diving with your sighnificant other

[Damselfish]

Only time I worry is the rare occasion he's gone without me. (Not sure if the reverse is true!)

 

[kelpmermaid]

Mech, what you said is very troubling. Who is it who is doing something he or she wouldn't normally do? If the situation scares the whole family, what' s the fun in it? I doesn't sound like "quality time" to me.

The best thing you can do for a spouse/SO diver is to help him or her become self reliant and capable. I don't know if that can happen in just a few dives a year, but anything less is condescending.

 

[Phish-phood]

My boyfriend and I dive together but quite often dive with other buddies.

As Seajay said it depends on both divers skill sets and being prepared to account for that. I love diving, but my boyfriend has about four years experience on me so I totally understand that sometimes he may want to go do his own thing and for that reason we both have other regular buddies with whom we can dive.

For the most part we have similar aims and want the same things out of diving, he just happens to be a little further along the path than I am and he has no intention of stopping while I catch up and nor would I expect him to.

So when we go dive the Kowloon Bridge in Ireland which ranges from 6-36 metres I will happily wish him a good dive to 36metres with his buddy while my buddy and I explore the wreck around the 20 metre mark. When we see each other we will tell each other all about it and far from making me jealous all it will do is reaffirm what I want from diving

 

[FLArmyBrat]

My SO and I did our OW together and I think that is a great thing for us. We know exactly what the other learned. I know he's looking out for me because on our final cert dive he saw bubbles coming from a place on my BC that bubbles aren't supposed to be coming from and acted accordingly. It wasn't life threatening but he called the dive and made sure I got to the surface ok. Its good to know that he is keeping that close an eye on me. In fact he's threatening to put a "dive leash" on me because he thinks I keep taking off on him. I think he should be greatful that he has a girlfriend who genuinely wants to dive and is curious about life underwater!! LOLOL

Laurel- The Frog Queen
:royal:

 

[BradB]

Thanks for the replies, it sounds like lots of folks deal with this issue and as she becomes more experienced it will become easier. I will say this was ENTIRELY her idea. I had no idea she wanted to dive till she brought it up. And I was not present at all on any of the learning/skills portion of her OW class, she was on her own there. I went on the last two ocean dives because they were just fun dives, no skills or instruction, so I would not be a distraction. Now I am looking forward to getting in the water with her again next week-end.

 

[ScottyK]

My S/O is my permananent, and only dive buddy. We got certified together, and over the years have developed our skills together.

I'm lucky also, in that Jen is fit, athletic, intelligent and a great diver. She loves the sport as much as I do. Your first hurdle, and unfortunately one you can't influence, will be whether or not your wife takes to diving as enthusiastically as you did. As someone else mentioned, be honest about this with each other. Neither of you will have much fun if you're dragging her into it.

Assuming you get past that, just be patient and dive within your wife's limits. It took a year or two for us to really get in sync with each other, and for me to stop worrying so much. Keeping a hold of some of your anxiety can be a good thing. It will make you both a better, more aware buddy team, and thus, better divers. You two aren't that far apart in experience, and if she takes to the sport, she will catch up to you fairly quickly.

Don't forget that there are some great advantages to diving with your S/O. You always have a buddy. You can travel without worrying about being paired up with some nut case on the dive boat, and you know your buddy will be there for you in a real emergency.

It's also nice not getting hit with a dish when I go to the LDS for air fills and come back with a bag of stuff and a two foot long credit card receipt

Have fun with it!

Scott

 

[mech]

kelpmermaid,
When I say my wifes scares the heck out of us it might have been an egsageration (sp?) but not by much.
When Shelley attempted her OW check out dives in Monterey she couldn't do it.She actually freaked out on the snorkle dive with my daughter and when my daughter tried to help her it just got worse (now that is an understatement)
She ended up doing her check out dives in the Carribian and it went OK.
On her first dive away from an instructor she dropped one of her intagrated weights and went up to the surface.Not too fast but not totally controlled and this bothered the kids.
Her next 20 or so dives did how ever go well...but kids don't forget.
Non of us ever gets excited. We are for the most part the easiest people to get along with so this "freak out"thing was very scary to us.We never had to deal with anything like this before.
My kids have very good skills and I trust them in the water together alone now.
That being said they need to buddy up and I need to spend time with the wife (Probably more for my sake).
She is actually OK with warm water diving and can't wait to do the next warm water trip.
I think the whole thing is us (ME) never seeing her in an uncomftorble situation and I need to get over it.
Andy

 

[Bluefish]

We really enjoy diving together. I agree that once you get used to diving with a buddy, you'll be much more comfortable with the idea.

 

[Scuby Dooby]

I have to admit that I also worry much more about my 12 year old son when we are diving then I do with any other buddies. I am a responsible dive buddy by all reports but this pales in comparison to the responsibility I feel as his father, obviously. I also seem to spend most of the dive watching him like a hawk and it is not always fun to be on that level of alert! While I expect that this will get better as his skills are increasing (he has about 20 dives right now) I don’t think it will ever totally go away.

My biggest issue is actually with us being a buddy team with him at 5’ and 80 lbs and me at 6 2 and 220 lbs! I am diving solo for sure – with this in mind we almost always dive with a DM or dive guide that I know and trust as a 3 man team All of our dives are low stress – good vis, warm water, below 50 ft., no strong currents, etc.

I plan for this by doing some nice easy dives with him where the focus is on his fun (and my vicarious thrill with him enjoying my favorite hobby) and I save some dives for myself where I can do whatever I want and worry less about being dad and taking care of my (big) baby. I'm willing to give up some of my fun for now to make sure he is both safe and enjoying himself.

 

[FLArmyBrat]

Here here Scuby!! My son turns 12 next month but won't start dive training until next summer after my SO and I get more comfortable with our own diving. But it has already been agreed that once he does get his certification then the three of us will be diving as a team. I woulnd't want to dive with my son alone for the same reasons you listed. He's my baby and I'd be too worried as well as too critical for it to be a fun experience for either of us.

I seem to recall my mother wouldn't coach me me in bowling. Not the same life or death hobby, but same principal.

Laurel- The Frog Queen
:royal: