First of all, I am a cardiologist with an interest in diving medicine. Here is my 2 cents. It is true that approximately 25% of the population has a PFO and that the vast majority of them has no consequence from it at all.
However, there is absolutely no truth to the statement that "it never affects people unless they scuba dive below 85 feet". It is extremely unlikely that the PFO had anything to do with your relative's death. The problems with PFO are right to left shunting across the atrial septum from the pulmonary circuit to the systemic circuit. For landlubbers the problem is small (or large) clots that would normally be "filtered" by the lungs but now make it into the systemic circulation and cause strokes. PFOs are routinely sought in what is termed cryptogenic stroke -- stroke with no other obvious cause found.
For divers, the problem is not clots but small bubbles upon ascent that can cross the atrial septum and cause arterial gas embolization. The greater the nitrogen loading (deeper dives, longer dives, decompression diving, commercial diving, etc) the more the theoretical likelihood of bubble formation that could cause problems, both with usual DCS and with right-to-left shunting of bubbles.
Granted I have no details in your relative's death, but it is far more likely that she simply had a "run of the mill" heart attack from atherosclerotic coronary artery disease. It could have happened in her sleep, on driving on the Interstate, or playing golf. However, since it happened underwater it gets labeled a scuba diving fatality.
If you have any details of the event, her history, the autopsy, etc feel free to PM me. I will gladly discuss things with you in more detail if that will be helpful in anyway to you or other family members.
Sorry for your loss.
Doug