Diver Conflict: What is the right thing to do in this case?

[shoupart]

okay, I am curious to hear your various takes on this situation.

Last night I went diving with a new buddy to do a lobster dive on the breakwater. We rode on his dinghy to reach the site.

On the way back from the dive, there was a little gasoline spill and my buddy asked me to rinse the lobster bags off in the ocean and hand it to him. I did so and he set the bags next to him on the side of the dinghy rim.

We were moving through the water and a moment later I looked back and didn't see my bag. I asked him where it was and he realized it was gone. I could not believe he hadn't secured them at all and asked him to replace it and the fin that was inside. He asked how much it was and seemed to accept my request (not disputing it, that's for sure).

When we reached his boat, he apparently changed his mind. He handed me cash for the bag ($30), but said he would not replace the fin and that "**** happens" and that he was already doing too much by paying for the bag, and I should just suck it up and accept it as being an unfortunate thing. He said it was not his fault and that he himself had lost a light (which he was also the last person to touch and stow, yet he seemed to be implying that its loss was my fault, and we were therefore somehow even.)

i tried to explain that I felt he should have been careful and not put it on the edge but he was icy towards me and said he could now "see the sort of person I really was."
I was pretty stunned by this sudden shift, and left the boat with my stuff before I could get too mad and make everything worse..

I want to know: what do you guys think of the situation?

Was I wrong to ask of him (and expect him) to replace my property that he lost?
Is it my liability? Is it his? Or is it just a case of " **** happens"?

 

[SparticleBrane]

Sounds like you need a new friend.
I know I would have replaced it if I had lost it.

 

[joystershell]

My opinion:

We are each responsible for our own stuff. Not that I don't trust my buddies or crews on the boats I dive with, but, after all, it is my stuff. I should be the one to keep track of it and make sure it's secure. Then, I have no one to blame but myself.

You should consider yourself lucky that you were reimbursed for the lost bag and call it a night. I think that the far greater loss was the friendship. Yep, sheet happens!

 

[Rainer]

Yup, move on without him.

 

[joystershell]

Duplicate post.

 

[bvmjethead]

I would be responsible for my own gear.

 

[Teamcasa]

Done as requested

 

[mike_s]

I guess you won't be diving with him again, huh?

 

[Doc Intrepid]

You learned he may be a dick.

You learned that really only you are responsible for your gear during any dive.

You learned that if you had lost something else much more valuable, his attitude would not likely be any different.

You learned he's not the kind of guy you want to dive with. Considering all the things you could potentially lose while diving, including your life, I consider it an extremely cost/efficient lesson.

 

[fairybasslet]

I had a similar weird experience. A friend of a friend offered me a 7mm wetsuit she was given. Someone GAVE it to her and it didn't fit her, so she said I could have it. I offered to pay her for but she said it was given to her and she didn't need it so she refused payment. She said all this in front of our mutual friend.

Fast forward about a month. I offer to pick her up and drive to the quarry where we are taking our rescue class. Picking her up cost me an extra 1/2 of travel time and several extra miles, but I figure that was OK because she is my "friend." I wasn't going to ask her for any gas or toll money, but since we were sharing a hotel room and I put the charge on my credit card, I did expect her to share that expense. However, on the way there, she says to me "Since I gave you the wetsuit you can pay for the hotel room and gas and tolls and we'll call it even." Man, I was shocked. I said to her "Hey you GAVE me the suit already." She said she could always sell it on ebay. During one of our breaks, I called our mutual friend and told her what happened. I asked for her opinion of how things went down the night she gave me the suit and she was of the opinion that she definitely gave it to me. But she said I should decide whether or not it was worth the aggravation to keep the suit or not. So I told the "friend" that I would give the suit back to her and that I wanted the money for the room, gas and tolls. It would have been a good deal to just keep the suit but I really had a bad feeling about the whole "Indian giver" thing so I really didn't want it anymore. Then while I'm busy doing something, she starts to switch out my tank for me without even asking me. I told her to please leave my gear alone.

Then on the way home, she changes her mind and gives me the suit anyway because she says it will be too much trouble to sell it on ebay. She seemed to think she could get $500 for a used O'Neill. I tell you people are weird.

As for your situation, well, like the others, I would just chalk it up to a lesson learned. Stow your own gear.