Divemaster touching me

[GeorgeC]

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience. However, you were in Mexico where the police shake you down on the side of the road to swindle money from non-existent speeding tickets.

I think writing a letter will go nowhere unless you send it to the hotel who allows the shop on their property. This has a slim chance of working if the hotel is a major branded hotel and the most you will get is an apology.

If you feel like you need to write a letter to the shop, it most likely will go nowhere. The other option is write one to the organization that holds the DM’s certification. Even though the line was crossed in his actions what do you think will be the outcome? Are you looking for him to be fired? Are you looking for compensation for another vacation? Rhetorical question.

Unfortunately, I don’t think either will happen. If you take the summary of all the posts you can see there are arguments for both sides.

The best advice I can offer is put it behind you, learn from the lesson so it does not happen in any facet of your life, try and minimize the situation mentally and write it off as someone uneducated who attempted to make a pass at you.

Another option is write a letter, put your thoughts down and never send it.

 

[Silverback784]

It seems like some of us are forgetting that she is in Mexico and yes it is different down there whether we like it or not. I am in no way condoning what he did. He may have misunderstood how much help you really needed.
Ladies how many times have you had your tush pinched when in a foreign country ? Something that would be totally unacceptable in the states. My wife had hers pinched several times while in Mexico.
All I can say is not put yourself in that situation again make sure it is a group never 1 one 1. After all it would still be your word against his and vice versa.

 

[tomboyy]

We did the SI and, victim that I am........ I didn't want to cause a problem and was in denial. Guys, you may think this ridiculous but I am sure that many women can relate to this conditioning.

The second dive was the same as the first.

NEXT TIME>> I will clobber anyone who tries this! I am 53yrs old, a strong professional woman and totally shut down in this.

The different responses to my post are fascinating to me. As a school administrator for over twenty years (female) I have been trained in sexual harassment and sexual abuse numerous times.

Some of the snide or accusatory comments in other posts are one of the reasons women don't come forward with complaints of harassment.

Moving on now.....

Alot of interesting comments... strong professional, school administrator thats been trained in sexual harassment and sexual abuse.

I do not condone sexual harrassment. hand holding and getting eye to eye and girlfriend comments ? you allowed this to happen twice?

you don't sound like your "trained in sexual harrassment" your words. you might have taken the course.

 

[White Knight]

I can't beleive the second dive was done, feeling the way she states she did! Perhaps there should be more laws and stiffer penalties to protect women? Clearly, they can't stand up for themselves or protect themselves. The guy could have just been blown off.

 

[CoralSeaMan]

Legal recourse is problematic in any situation but particularly outside of the U.S. The OP has made the most reasonable decisions she could. She was perhaps naive but she has now overcome that. Questioning her judgement misses the real issue. How should one go about handling such issues. The answer is that she will not let this happen again. And her story should help other women deal with these situations in the future.

 

[ArcticDiver]

Hmmmmm. Reverse the sexes and see what kind of responses you get.

Same. Mind you there is a difference between mutally agreeable flirtatious activity and this kind of unwelcome attention. Most people I know welcome the first and are totally turned off by the latter.

 

[JDMerk]

My god...is this still an active thread. I feel like I've been waiting for this to die for days now. Just let it go.

She was weak for not expressing her discomfort.
He may have been a little too "comforting", but in the end no real damage was done.

I can't believe people are really talking about legal recourse and how he deserved to get his ass kicked. He was just doing his job and trying to give you what he thought you wanted. Its not like he would intentionally try to make you uncomfortable or have a bad time. How many dive ops survive long on that business model? It kinda like burning yard leaves right by your compressor intake...dumb.

I mean seriously what ever happened to people taking care of themselves and being self sufficient?

Chalk one up for experience...next time:
pull up your big girl panties...
use your words...
let people know how you feel...

 

[tiggrr]

My god...is this still an active thread. I've been waiting for this to die for days now. Just let it go.

Wow! It hurts that much to have a thread go from yesterday morning til now?

Why don't you pull up your big girl panties and let it go.

 

[IceIce]

Just want to add my 2 cents here.

Waterpaal, as much as you are standing in your belief about what had happened to you, you have come here to post and ask for opinions, some agree with you, some offer you another POV that you brush off. (?)

I would think that you post here to see what posters here think off the incident, and not merely want some approvals or fed up when someone disagree.

When I read your post, honestly, I tend to agree with those who said that culture difference has taken place, and the behaviors of DM are continued based on 'acceptance'. It's inappropriate; however I believe they assess the situation by the responses they got. As someone said before, there are some divers looking for ‘fun’ and therefore the misunderstanding from his part.

When someone eat you cookies before your eyes, you should stop them on the spot when you can (in this case you absolutely can do it in many chances), not cry about it days about it has been eaten. First, they thought you allow them because you never say anything. Second, because they might have the culture that is okay to eat other people’s cookies as long as they don’t mind, it can be a sign of being friendly or helpful or whatever.
Rowdy example, I know.

As divers or travelers, we might travel to many places which have different cultures and social interactions as sign of greeting, help and friendliness. They have the right for their culture, and you have the right for yours to let them know what is inappropriate for you.
Otherwise, how do you expect them to know since you also might not know theirs?

 

[JDMerk]

I am sorry to get so emotional about this, but I was abused once myself. It was three college girls oiled down and dressed in bikinis. It was a group thing on a dive boat. I was the only man and was afraid to ask for help--afraid that help my come if I did! They cuffed my to the gunwale and had their way with me. They touched me in terrible places and spoke French to me! It was terrible, after four of five hours of this, they finally let me go.

Was there hand holding or cheek caressing involved? If so you should file suit...shut the dive op DOWN once and for all!!! THIS TYPE OF AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND MAN!

Is it just me or can anyone else hear the fem-**** battle cry from the computer desk?

<Jason-who is "lucky" enough not to have had to endure "abuse" of this nature on a dive charter...yet