Just my two cents. I've only logged 30-something dives, and only recently got my drysuit certification, so if anyone with more experience wants to correct me, please do!
Equipment:
Unless it's a regular foam neoprene drysuit, I was taught that you don't use the BC for buoyancy control at depth. The OP mentioned that the exhaust valve on his drysuit doesn't vent fast enough. Along with a new cold-compatible regulator for his buddy, shouldn't he be getting his drysuit exhaust valve serviced or replaced so that it's up to the task? It seems that the workload of managing two buoyancy control systems in addition to managing the OOA situation might have contributed to the rapid ascent.
Communication:
Your buddy signalled "I'm cold" when he was having an equipment problem. I know if it were me, I'd be making sure to let my buddy know about the equipment problem first! I think the response to the "I'm cold" signal was appropriate -- find the line for a controlled ascent -- but wouldn't your thought processes/reactions have been different if you had known what the more pressing problem was?
Why is your buddy always getting cold? It sounds like a step up in exposure protection is warranted as well as a cold-compatible reg.
I think the fact that you prepared as thoroughly as you did to dive with one another is really great. I have taken that lesson to heart for when I find a buddy to dive with (most of my diving has been with instructors for training or on LDS-sponsored fun dives).
Regards,
-- chad