Good advice so far. A 7 mill is confining as is a hood. Unless its really cold Id opt for a 3mill and no hood. Openwater and all this new gear can be overwhelming. I dove a couple years in the springs and the first time I jumped off a boat in the ocean it was like starting all over. I too overbreathed my reg from adrenlin and had to surface. You will get used to it when you realize that its really peacefull below the surface with the fish. You have to breathe in fully and breathe out fully while diving. For some it takes longer to become acclimated. Hang in there and dont give up, youll be way more appreciative when you get er done and recieve your c card.
I suspect their water is far too cold for a 3ml, no hood or they wouldn't be training in 7mls/hoods.
I've had three similar experiences. One was caused by a mismarked wetsuit size ( I'd been renting from the same shop so thought this suit would fit like all the others). Another episode was caused by a hood that was much too tight, causing me to feel like I would pass out from the tightness around my neck. Changed hoods and I was fine.
I had one other time when the surface swim was very difficult. Got ready to descend and couldn't catch my breath.
It's a terrible feeling and in my case provoked anxiety, rather than being caused by anxiety.
my point is, this might not have been so much anxiety and fear but a simple case of your body's natural, physiologic respons to a constricting wetsuit/hood, overheating, overexertimg and not being able to breathe because of it.
Give it another try. Make sure the wetsuit and hood really fit and aren't making it hard to breathe. Don't let anyone tell tell you that the suit is "close enough" if it really does seem uncomfortable.
would it be possible to wait until cooler weather for your OW dives? So that you don't overheat on the surface? If not, make sure you get your suit wet immediately after suiting up, either by wading into the water, sitting down and flooding it or by dumping some cool water into it with a gallon jug brought for this purpose.
diving in heavy exposure suits when the weather on top is hot is challenging. We went out to the lake yesterday and I wished I'd had my drysuit to get under the thermocline but forecast was for 110. I didn't want to risk a heat injury, gearing up in thermals and a drysuit.
Good luck, whatever you decide to do. Hawaii is excellent diving. You should be able to get by with a 3-5ml, no hood there.