In spite of popular belief, there is no "special equipment list" for DIR diving.
They have certain standards that equipment is expected to meet, and any brand is acceptable as long as it meets the standards.
The best place to get the equipment recommendations is out of the "Doing it Right: The Fundamentals of Better Diving."
To answer your questions:
1) For regulators, a high performance balanced second stage is preferred by many for their primary reg while a slightly lower performance unbalanced second stage for the back up (reducing the tendency to freeflow) The balanced reg provides better breathing, while the unbalanced provides a reliable backup. Diaphragm regs are preferred for cold water use where regulator freeze up is a potential hazard.
2) Any stiff fin that allows you to adequately perform a variety of different kicks and provide the power to move large amounts of heavy gear easily.
3) Black is a preference by some, not a requirement. There is nothing that I have ever seen regarding color and DIR.