differences in men and women while diving

[FinnMom]

I've never seen this problem with ordinary divers, only with boat personell in warm-water countries very eager to earn a tip. This may be because I dive with Finns, who really are rather far down the spectrum from intrusive ;-)

I will accept help if it is helpful and am careful to say "thank you" clearly, audibly and possibly more than once. If people are fussing and bothering me by trying to help, I will help them achieve want they want (me=happy customer) by being clear about what they can do to help and what exactly I would very much like them not to do. Again, being sure to smile, keep it clear & brief and maintain a friendly tone of voice. Well, at least the first few times ;-) You get more flies with honey.

I have to admit that many of us diving women will not accept help if we can avoid it. I'm sorry. It's just that there are a few princess-types out there & they are so incredibly annoying that it's very important to me that everyone can immediately observe that I am not a princess. Maybe after we all know each other we can rework things a bit, maybe you carry some of my stuff and I buy the coffee. But that's later.

I hope the woman that started this thread has read the answers and taken them to heart. Sometimes it's very important to the customer that you don't mess with their routine, or their "quiet time" before a dive. This might even be a matter of safety (routines are good for memory & stress reduction) and it's certainly a matter of peace of mind and just generally feeling in a good mood. We are intelligent adults, we know the difference between "yes" and "no". If you have offered to help, please respect the answer you received. Thank you!

 

[Kharon]

2. Gear up. This is what i love. I am a cold and warm water guide and am here to help. which means i am going to help you.

Not in this lifetime. I'm mostly a solo diver. I have developed a specific routine and checklist that I do exactly the same way in the same order every time. I do not need nor do I want your "help". You are interfering and could very well cause me to forget something. You wouldn't jump in and "help" a rebreather diver (at least I certainly hope not). You're insistance to help is both arrogant and, at least in some cases, dangerous. Get over yourself.

 

[Donnah]

I have my routine I go through setting up my gear and don't want anyone to help or touch unless I ask. The most intrusive "helpers" I have encountered were a few new female divemasters. In most cases, I get on the boat and immediately start setting up - it's obvious that I know what I am doing. I'm usually diving with other experienced divers, and we are all doing our own things. I have no problem asking for help; I'd rather have help than hurt my wrist or back.

I haven't had any problems with males on the diveboat being annoyingly helpful, but most of them are the age of my children or grandchildren. Maybe if I were blond and 20?

 

[Zmajcek]

I am not a princess. Maybe after we all know each other we can rework things a bit, maybe you carry some of my stuff and I buy the coffee. But that's later.

Love this. Exactly how I feel. MAYBE later. If I ask. If my back hurt.

 

[MaxBottomtime]

 

[Hoyden]

Trying to touch my OC gear without my asking you for help will earn you a warning the first time, and a physical intervention should you attempt it again. Reach for anything on/around my rebreather at your own peril.

If I want you to snap, clip, or otherwise help me with something - I'll tell you. If you think you see something you could/should help with, then ask me - with your words, not your fingers. Though I haven't noticed this is necessarily a male/female distinction in tech diving, it is perhaps more common in rec diving to see men with my attitude and women with an attitude of focusing on how you're trying to help rather than how you're potentially screwing up their gear.

That is pretty much how I feel as well. As a female, I don't think that this is a gender issue. I do not want you to touch my gear - and that is my open circuit stuff. God help you if you touch my rebreather. I would prefer that you not even look at it very hard as in my experience looking leads to touching. In the unlikely event that I do want a second party to touch my gear, it won't be you. I will be diving with a buddy or at least traveling with other divers that I know.

I do not generally frequent resorts that insist on "guided" dives so this is not usually a problem.

Jackie

 

[KeithG]

The main difference I notice is that male divers (in general) tend to believe that every dive is an Olympic distance event. They swim their a** off.

Female divers tend to treat dives as a walk in the park stopping to smell EVERY rose. I am very glad my dive buddy is female.

From a DM & guide perspective I have only once been subjected to the Olympic dive treatment. They got told after the dive. It never happened again.

Topside I have received the same respectful treatment from both male and female DMs.

 

[FinnMom]

I have found olympic divers unreasonably hard to convert but I've been very happy ever since I realized I could just let them go. Heck, I'm not the one creating a problem so why make it my problem. You aren't supposed to leave your buddy, but I didn't. If he left me well, that's his problem. I'm fine by myself too, certainly better off than stressed and exhausted trying to keep some idiot in sight. If he wants a buddy I probably won't be far from where he left me.

 

[crabbyfiddler]

I have to admit that many of us diving women will not accept help if we can avoid it. I'm sorry. It's just that there are a few princess-types out there & they are so incredibly annoying that it's very important to me that everyone can immediately observe that I am not a princess.

Amen, FinnMom!
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[drbill]

As I mentioned in my previous post, most of my "regular" buddies (I dive solo 95% of the time) are wonderful to dive with. They generally have better air consumption than many of the men, are happy to stay in one area and actually observe what we are seeing and have little interest in swimming off (unless they spot a giant sea bass or some other cool critter). These are the differences that really matter to me. I don't care if you are male or female, if I ask you not to touch my gear I mean it. Only exception would be if you detect something that could be a major issue but that I've overlooked. At my age that is a possibility I acknowledge.