Many of us will argue that a basic harness is comfortable enough for us, and that padding is positively buoyant (so if you don't need it, getting rid of it reduces lead needed).It is funny though, most of this is about comfort and those are the things I use for comfort in a thin suit, but many people will argue (and be entirely convinced that they are right) that a basic harness is comfortable enough and no padding is beneficial (for them, me, you and the wife).
@Redbelly737 The key thing that I think we should all address (myself included) is that it all what is best/most comfortable/preferred by the individual diver. I use and love a basic harness with no padding on the harness or plate (even with no wetsuit). One of my boys uses a BPW with an H harness (shoulder straps attach to the waist band with T plates at the front of the hips) and a back pad. My wife hates BPW and a keep a Scubapro Classic jacket for her.
If able, borrow or rent things to try first. If on a budget, start with a basic harness and no pad... and if you want padding add it. If less budget constrained buy the pads up front and try with and without to see what you prefer, then sell the pads if you decide you don't need them. When making the decision, think about the diving you will do. Boats where you gear up and immediately hit the water, all that matters is in water comfort. Shore diving it starts to matter how it feels wearing it from wear you gear up to the entry point.
We all have our opinions (and share them!), but what really counts will be what you find you like.
Respectfully,
James