Denise's very own NONSENSE THREAD
- Thread starter BRANDY
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So PHD, you can take the gag out now. 
Will you be showing up at Vortex during Vortoberfest to give us a live demonstration of your flying monkey skills?
Will you be showing up at Vortex during Vortoberfest to give us a live demonstration of your flying monkey skills?
mike_s
Contributor
TEE HEE! I WANT ONE OF THOSE!!!!
Carolyn:shark2:
Carolyn:shark2:
photohikedive
Guest
snepdiver
Contributor
Thats funny. I am searching for one now.
photohikedive
Guest
snepdiver
Contributor
Monkey drop good, real good.
mike_s
Contributor
I guess this is the best place to post this. Tattooing is on the rise among adult women, including professional women; almost half of all tattoos are being done on women. What's wrong with that you ask? WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?!
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT!
Women, more explicitly, feminists, are taking everything traditional from the men. Women smoke cigars now, get tattoos, run companies, heck a woman could be a heartbeat away from the presidency for the first time in history! A lot has changed in just 50 years, some good, some bad! But gees, there's nothing just for men anymore! And, the women don't even appreciate it when we acknowledge their success!
I'll give you a real life example here, and to illustrate "what's wrong with it?"
We, my wife, daughters and I, had just watched Greta Van Sustern's interview of Sarah Palin's husband in Alaska and my wife says, after they showed him and his racing snow machines "Well, they might run him for president one day" and I laughed. Trying to be "cute" and in my best chauvinist voice, I said,
"What are you talking about, that's woman's work now!"
And they looked at me like I was referring to washing the dishes, cleaning the house or changing diapers.
"What?", I said (like what? what'd I say?)
I thought it was a hilarious satirical remark. In my mind, I am a cartoon clip on TV or in the newspaper showing Homer (me) in a lounge chair watching Greta on TV with Marge and Lisa when the comments above occur, a parody on how far we have come as a society, that now Presidential politics, a man's world, can be considered by a man to be "woman's work". They've arrived, the feminists have gotten their wish, a woman can do it all, on par with a man. Hillary has put 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling and Palin will break it into shards ... and go all the way!
(Did you ever hear of a book called Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?)
Not a smile, or a giggle,....not even a sneer, but all they were thinking, although they didn't say it with their mouths but with the look in their eyes, "Yeah, we women will run the country while you're out racing your snow machine and having fun! Not a chance in hell Dude!"
UH-OH - nothing has changed in their minds! UH-OH What will it take for me to learn, we can never win! No matter what. UH-OH.
Suddenly, from their stare at me after my remark I can feel the pain of those 18 million glass shards piercing my body. Luckily, I said nothing more (the acquired wisdom of 57 years on earth as a male of the species, one divorce, 4 kids, a second marriage with a stepdaughter and my live in elderly mother along for the ride - it took me that long for me to learn this?) but through the silence I could hear a still small voice saying over and over,
"Give up! I give up! Give it up! It's over. Give up you fool!"
End of story ...... and yes, women I know you don't get it, it's a man thing.*
*For any women out there who are deciding I am a chauvinist pig, I'm just kidding, this is a spoof ! Just laugh cause it's meant to be funny, I don't believe there is anything wrong with "it", it meaning women getting tattoos, or smoking cigars or even ruling the world! All women are terrific and I hold nothing against them...I even wish sometimes I was one...well maybe once.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT!
Women, more explicitly, feminists, are taking everything traditional from the men. Women smoke cigars now, get tattoos, run companies, heck a woman could be a heartbeat away from the presidency for the first time in history! A lot has changed in just 50 years, some good, some bad! But gees, there's nothing just for men anymore! And, the women don't even appreciate it when we acknowledge their success!
I'll give you a real life example here, and to illustrate "what's wrong with it?"
We, my wife, daughters and I, had just watched Greta Van Sustern's interview of Sarah Palin's husband in Alaska and my wife says, after they showed him and his racing snow machines "Well, they might run him for president one day" and I laughed. Trying to be "cute" and in my best chauvinist voice, I said,
"What are you talking about, that's woman's work now!"
And they looked at me like I was referring to washing the dishes, cleaning the house or changing diapers.
"What?", I said (like what? what'd I say?)
I thought it was a hilarious satirical remark. In my mind, I am a cartoon clip on TV or in the newspaper showing Homer (me) in a lounge chair watching Greta on TV with Marge and Lisa when the comments above occur, a parody on how far we have come as a society, that now Presidential politics, a man's world, can be considered by a man to be "woman's work". They've arrived, the feminists have gotten their wish, a woman can do it all, on par with a man. Hillary has put 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling and Palin will break it into shards ... and go all the way!
(Did you ever hear of a book called Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?)
Not a smile, or a giggle,....not even a sneer, but all they were thinking, although they didn't say it with their mouths but with the look in their eyes, "Yeah, we women will run the country while you're out racing your snow machine and having fun! Not a chance in hell Dude!"
UH-OH - nothing has changed in their minds! UH-OH What will it take for me to learn, we can never win! No matter what. UH-OH.
Suddenly, from their stare at me after my remark I can feel the pain of those 18 million glass shards piercing my body. Luckily, I said nothing more (the acquired wisdom of 57 years on earth as a male of the species, one divorce, 4 kids, a second marriage with a stepdaughter and my live in elderly mother along for the ride - it took me that long for me to learn this?) but through the silence I could hear a still small voice saying over and over,
"Give up! I give up! Give it up! It's over. Give up you fool!"
End of story ...... and yes, women I know you don't get it, it's a man thing.*
*For any women out there who are deciding I am a chauvinist pig, I'm just kidding, this is a spoof ! Just laugh cause it's meant to be funny, I don't believe there is anything wrong with "it", it meaning women getting tattoos, or smoking cigars or even ruling the world! All women are terrific and I hold nothing against them...I even wish sometimes I was one...well maybe once.
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