tildisvildis
New
Hey dive buddies,
After posting a thread on thorntree I was adviced to post my question here. Maybe it's not really a question but I need to vent something and ask if there are other people with similar experiences in order to be brave enough to go back under the surface. This will be a long one...
I got my open water and advance open water when I was living in Malaysia two years ago. When I moved to South Africa a year ago I was really happy to explore the underwater life there. After a week in South Africa I went to the east coast to dive. The first day I did a dive without a computer, I trusted my buddy who was a pro and used to the "South African way of diving". We went 15 meters down and stayed for about 40 minutes. A girl was running out of air, so me and my buddy ascended with her. The safety stop was sloppy since the girl was acting nervous. I remember thinking that we were being stupid but my thoughts were more with the girl.
That was the only dive during day one and we didn't talk about the sloppy safety stop. That night I had a fight with two friends which I now think was crucial for how this vacation turned out since I became mentally exhausted from it.
The second day started out with a wreck dive. One of the girls were having problems descending though so we drifted away and lost the wreck. This resulted in the fact that our 30 meter dive only lasted for about 15 minutes. Our safety stop here was according to the rules but I thank god for the fact that we drifted away because I don't want to think about what would have happened if we would have done a longer dive.
We waited at the boat for some time, for how long I don't know since my instructor told us that it was ok to go back again. We went down 15 meter but I got the feeling that something was wrong. First I thought that my bcd was coming off and then it felt like I lost all the strength in my legs. I notified my instructor that something was wrong and he immediately aborted the dive.
I remember making it to the surface but after that it's all very blurry. I remember being on a boat but feeling like I wasn't really present. My friend (who wasn't diving but she was on the boat) later told me that we stayed for 50 minutes on that boat and that they thought that I was simply over-heating.
Finally back to the shore the instructor realized that there was something way wrong. The ambulance came and I started feeling better in the ambulance. I got oxygen but I still remember the numbness in my legs and the feeling that I just wanted to sleep. The paramedic asked me if I had ever suffered from panic attack before and I have, but not when it comes to water and diving. There and then I got the diagnosic of panic attack. At the hospital the doctor didn't examine me as she just went with the diagnosis of the paramedics.
I felt better after some time though I was dizzy, had numbness in my legs and was extremely tired. The next day we drove back from the east coast to where I was living. This is a ten hour drive in the mountains so it was a crazy thing to do considering how I was feeling. I just felt so stupid because the hospital really convinced me that I had a panic attack and it was so embarrassing.
Back in my home town I collapsed in a supermarket. My friends carried me home and I called the instructor to once again go through the dives with him. He said that I was just tired and needed some sleep after a long journey. I felt even more embarrassed but I called a friend who is also a diver who told me to immediately go to a hospital.
When we arrived at the hospital I could no longer walk and my legs were really painful. I got a strange reaction from the doctor who told me that "either you will get paralyzed or you will die". After he consulted with a "diving-doctor" they weren't sure that it was DCS though. The dives weren't "bad enough". So I had to spend the night there not knowing what was going to happen and the next morning I couldn't move my legs, hands and I had troubles talking. My head felt blurry and I couldn't remember the simplest things.
Since the symptoms got so bad the "diving doctor" agreed to see me and he immediately diagnosed me with DCS. I did two treatments in the chamber, 7 and 3 hours long during two days. It was like a miracle, I could walk and move my hands again!
After a week I was back to the hospital needing treatment for post traumatic stress...but I got through that with medicine. My problem is though that I don't know how I can go back to diving. It's really what I love to do but I don't know how to find the confidence again. I don't trust myself, doctors and paramedics and especially not instructors. I can't get over what could have happened and I have no one to share this with as I didn't really tell anyone how bad it was. I now thought that forums like this could be a way to see if there was anyone else who has had a similar experience but is now back to diving?
Hopefully I'll meet you a few meters below the surface soon
After posting a thread on thorntree I was adviced to post my question here. Maybe it's not really a question but I need to vent something and ask if there are other people with similar experiences in order to be brave enough to go back under the surface. This will be a long one...
I got my open water and advance open water when I was living in Malaysia two years ago. When I moved to South Africa a year ago I was really happy to explore the underwater life there. After a week in South Africa I went to the east coast to dive. The first day I did a dive without a computer, I trusted my buddy who was a pro and used to the "South African way of diving". We went 15 meters down and stayed for about 40 minutes. A girl was running out of air, so me and my buddy ascended with her. The safety stop was sloppy since the girl was acting nervous. I remember thinking that we were being stupid but my thoughts were more with the girl.
That was the only dive during day one and we didn't talk about the sloppy safety stop. That night I had a fight with two friends which I now think was crucial for how this vacation turned out since I became mentally exhausted from it.
The second day started out with a wreck dive. One of the girls were having problems descending though so we drifted away and lost the wreck. This resulted in the fact that our 30 meter dive only lasted for about 15 minutes. Our safety stop here was according to the rules but I thank god for the fact that we drifted away because I don't want to think about what would have happened if we would have done a longer dive.
We waited at the boat for some time, for how long I don't know since my instructor told us that it was ok to go back again. We went down 15 meter but I got the feeling that something was wrong. First I thought that my bcd was coming off and then it felt like I lost all the strength in my legs. I notified my instructor that something was wrong and he immediately aborted the dive.
I remember making it to the surface but after that it's all very blurry. I remember being on a boat but feeling like I wasn't really present. My friend (who wasn't diving but she was on the boat) later told me that we stayed for 50 minutes on that boat and that they thought that I was simply over-heating.
Finally back to the shore the instructor realized that there was something way wrong. The ambulance came and I started feeling better in the ambulance. I got oxygen but I still remember the numbness in my legs and the feeling that I just wanted to sleep. The paramedic asked me if I had ever suffered from panic attack before and I have, but not when it comes to water and diving. There and then I got the diagnosic of panic attack. At the hospital the doctor didn't examine me as she just went with the diagnosis of the paramedics.
I felt better after some time though I was dizzy, had numbness in my legs and was extremely tired. The next day we drove back from the east coast to where I was living. This is a ten hour drive in the mountains so it was a crazy thing to do considering how I was feeling. I just felt so stupid because the hospital really convinced me that I had a panic attack and it was so embarrassing.
Back in my home town I collapsed in a supermarket. My friends carried me home and I called the instructor to once again go through the dives with him. He said that I was just tired and needed some sleep after a long journey. I felt even more embarrassed but I called a friend who is also a diver who told me to immediately go to a hospital.
When we arrived at the hospital I could no longer walk and my legs were really painful. I got a strange reaction from the doctor who told me that "either you will get paralyzed or you will die". After he consulted with a "diving-doctor" they weren't sure that it was DCS though. The dives weren't "bad enough". So I had to spend the night there not knowing what was going to happen and the next morning I couldn't move my legs, hands and I had troubles talking. My head felt blurry and I couldn't remember the simplest things.
Since the symptoms got so bad the "diving doctor" agreed to see me and he immediately diagnosed me with DCS. I did two treatments in the chamber, 7 and 3 hours long during two days. It was like a miracle, I could walk and move my hands again!
After a week I was back to the hospital needing treatment for post traumatic stress...but I got through that with medicine. My problem is though that I don't know how I can go back to diving. It's really what I love to do but I don't know how to find the confidence again. I don't trust myself, doctors and paramedics and especially not instructors. I can't get over what could have happened and I have no one to share this with as I didn't really tell anyone how bad it was. I now thought that forums like this could be a way to see if there was anyone else who has had a similar experience but is now back to diving?
Hopefully I'll meet you a few meters below the surface soon