Check out this Commercial...

[Dive Right In Scuba]

We had made.....this is for one of our trips, the Mall of America Shark Dive....I need to do some more editing, but Im looking to see what you guys think of it as it is

Tanks for your criticism

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40WKQ681IXo

 

[sabbath999]

OK, I have watched it twice... and I don't get that it is about a dive trip to the Mall of America Shark Dive... I see a store and some sharks and other aquatic life... but I don't get that whether you are trying to advertise the store, the dive location or what...

I think it requires the customers to know ahead of time what you are advertising... which is fine if they click on a link about a specific dive... but without your statement I would have had no idea what the commercial was about.

My .02 PSI

 

[Dive Right In Scuba]

LOL...exactly! There was some miscommunication from me and the guy that made it. THere is no connection of anything on film. I wanted to make sure it wasnt just me Im meeting with him next week so that it all connects....I thought he was doing a video for our store as a promo, and somehow he thought he was doing one for the Mall of America dive...THere really is not a good connection as it is now even for the trip, but I will make better and report back after meeting with him

Im actually going to make 2 videos out of it just by changing the wording...one for the store, one for the trip..stay tuned...I just saw it yesterday, and have plenty of easy changes so it flows and sends a message

THanks for your words, I wanted to make sure it wasnt me being to critical, but it seems there really is no connection of anything in the video

 

[b1draper]

I agree it's hard to tell what you're advertising. I see sharks, store, website.

I think you need to start out with your store and then say something about the trip and all the things you offer. Basically show how good your company is, then make the connection to the Mall of America shark dive and say something like "now planning trips to ....". Or you could film yourself there in front of the location for a few seconds then voice over or add the test to your video. Good start!!

 

[sabbath999]

Im actually going to make 2 videos out of it just by changing the wording...one for the store, one for the trip..stay tuned...I just saw it yesterday, and have plenty of easy changes so it flows and sends a message

You might also have him put in some cavemen... that seems to work.

 

[Doc]

I'd go if we could spearfish some of them. Nice store shots.

 

[RJP]

We had made.....this is for one of our trips, the Mall of America Shark Dive....I need to do some more editing, but Im looking to see what you guys think of it as it is

Tanks for your criticism

YouTube - Shark Dive Commercial

As an ad agency professional I'll say the main thing you need to do for any ad or piece of communication is focus on what is often called the "Single Net Impression."

What is the ONE thing you want the audience to take away from the ad. There can be only ONE.

Make sure the guy making the video for you understands the Single Net Impression you're looking for and stay true to that - BOTH of you!

 

[Dive Right In Scuba]

As an ad agency professional I'll say the main thing you need to do for any ad or piece of communication is focus on what is often called the "Single Net Impression."

What is the ONE thing you want the audience to take away from the ad. There can be only ONE.

Make sure the guy making the video for you understands the Single Net Impression you're looking for and stay true to that - BOTH of you!

THANKS I will update with the new one on Monday, we are meeting to redo....This time I will be there to input my suggestions vs. just getting a finished project...I look forward to what you guys say on the next one

 

[Garrobo]

As with a lot of current commercials and a lot of programs the sound is too loud, the music isn't necessarily important and the hissing and banging which they put in is disconcerting if not irritating. Other than that there are some interesting aquatic dudes floating around and some shorts of a dive shop. ??????

 

[scubadobadoo]

As an ad agency professional I'll say the main thing you need to do for any ad or piece of communication is focus on what is often called the "Single Net Impression."

What is the ONE thing you want the audience to take away from the ad. There can be only ONE.

Make sure the guy making the video for you understands the Single Net Impression you're looking for and stay true to that - BOTH of you!

RJP is dead on.

I make a living as an actor and in the last three years I have done about 25 commercials and have about 5 or more running currently. I read a lot of commercial copy doing 5-10 auditions a week and have also written many spots as well. I can usually tell what will air and what will get scrapped just from auditioning for it.

Sabath is correct...I also had no idea what it was advertising other than your shop in a very general way. But you seem to get that already.

Consider adding a VO (voice over) in addition to your on screen text. You could voice it to save money. It doesn't have to be great, just specific.

All that said, I like the idea of diving with sharks without getting in the ocean. Specify that concept and run with it. What you have now is a great concept without a clear delivery. In other words, you have a cool looking concept car but it doesn't drive anywhere yet.

Maybe you could tell the story about a nice lady who always dreamed of doing two things. The first, was a normal gal's fantasy of shopping til she dropped. AAAHHH shopping! (show her shopping like a maniac in the mall who may give you more money for your commercial for featuring the mall hint hint) The other dream was a bit more wild, much to the dismay of friends and family (husband and kids shaking heads) you see it was.... diving with sharks....AND NEVER GOING TO THE OCEAN!!!! (show sharks in the mall) Unfortunately (cut to her serving tv dinners for her family in a bland home with snow outside piled up) at the end of the day, she realized that the two worlds she dreamed of in her fantasies could never collide. BUT NOW HER DREAMS CAN COME TRUE thanks to DRI Scuba and the Mall of America! (sharks, her, family happy, diving, her in nice clothes in the tank etc and every one is happy!!!!!)

So my silly story is just so so honestly (not to mention more involved than yours) but now you have a hero...an every woman if you will that people can relate to... and she is featured in the mall and in the shark tank and you have a clear objective and every one (the dive shop, the mall, the product, and most importantly...the people you are targeting) are all included. This is just one way to get to your net impression as RJP said.

Just my 2 cents not so coherently stated... Good luck!...and share the final product so we can all enjoy it!!! ...my newborn is crying gotta go....