My wife is smaller than you. She routinely (weekly) dives large surf (sometimes as tall as her), wearing heavy gear (sometimes matching her body weight). Getting in and out safely is a matter of experience and technique (with good judgment being what keeps you from diving on days you shouldn't). Your first goal is not getting knocked down. This requires skill (reading the waves, timing, body position, streamlined gear, strength, etc). If you do go down, you have to realize you might be underwater for quite some time, possibly longer than you could hold your breath. A "bad" surf break is one where the water will draw out strongly, as the next wave breaks, making progress toward the beach very difficult. You might be in a "sand-sky-sand-sky-sand-sky" tumble for awhile. Personally, I want a regulator in my mouth during such times. If you can get your bearings, best to either crawl toward to the beach or kick back out past the break and try again. In the surf zone, there is rarely such thing as "firm footing".
While there are some shore areas where ditching might be appropriate (and certainly some conditions), for most serious surf areas, you're going to have a much better time with lots of breathing gas available. If you can't breathe, you can't help a teammate. Just like BT, the people I dive with *will* offer assistance when possible in the surf zone, but sometimes you need to help yourself first before attending to others.
As for the case in question, it's really hard to know what happened from the details available. If the now deceased diver was in medical trouble prior to exit (e.g. having a heart attack), every possible expedience needs to be taken to get him out. Otherwise, it's best to plan your exit carefully (from behind the surf break) and once you see an opening, move quickly toward shore, always watching for waves and prepared to deal with them as they come.
We dived Laguna this past Sunday (right before the lifeguards closed all shore diving in the city) in overhead surf. I certainly would not have tried that with less experience (nevermind the fact visibility was awful and the dive hardly worth the hassle).
Rainer, help me out understanding this --
I'm 5'4" and 120 lbs. My gear on, if a single, is ~50lbs at 4 feet above the ground. A wave could topple me PDQ.
If I just ditched the gear, I now have a 50lb trip-monster rolling wildly in the surf.
I don't know how deep or what these guys were, but it sounds like the brother helped his brother as far forward as possible, then ditched his gear out of the way to go back and drag the ill brother in.
I think I see that in deeper surf, that would not be wise to dump gear, but once I believed I had firm enough footing, what the brother did makes sense.
(Can see that I will need surf lessons if I ever get up the courage to dive in the frozen Pacific.)