NJMike: I think you are asking good questions. Many of those would be perfect for a rescue class, just as an aside.
Many things depend on the situation and I don't think you can get standard answers that can be applied to all types of seperations.
All the buddy seperations I've encountered have been due to equipment malfunction (or in one case lack of drysuit familiarity). In one situation I was able to meet up with my buddy underwater as I was ascending. This was due to both of us shining our lights in the direction of the other and a controlled ascent on my part (plus both of us "keeping our heads" and thinking through the situation).
Now my question to you, do you have the skills necessary to deal with a distressed / injured diver at the surface. These skills are typically taught in the rescue course and from everything I've read / heard, dealing with a panicing diver is one of the most dangerous things you'll do in diving.
If they are entangeled, underwater, how would you deal with the situation? I would say that the best way to deal with it is to keep a close eye on your buddy. If something happens to them and you make sure you check on them frequently (I probably verify ever 30 - 45 seconds that my buddy is close) you should either know where to look for them (i.e. whoops that doesn't look good, my buddy is fighting with his drysuit valve .. hmm there is is heading up ... ) or be able to bail them out of whatever situation they are at.
As for DM's being in charge. Quite frankly, I don't do 'follow me' dives. I prefer to plan my diver and execute my plan. If I'm at a new site, a detailed briefing is certainly appreciated, but in the end I am responsible for my own safety and that of my buddy / team. And I like diving with folks who have the same attitude.
I'm not sure how you came up with 10 minutes? If you are a new diver, you should be above 60 fsw. At this point safety stops are optional. At at 30 fpm ascent it would take you 2 minutes to reach the surface after searching for 1 minute. If you check on your buddy every 30 seconds, you are at 3 1/2 minutes from time of buddy seperation. Evern if you throw in a minute or two stop along the way and ascend extra slow from 10 fsw to the surface, you're still only at around 5 minutes.
In a real emergency (i.e. buddy has heart attack at 60 fsw) chances of recovery are slim, though it does happen (I know of one situation locally where the diver was saved after surfacing "blue").
Again, good questions and with that mindset, I think aiming for taking the rescue course down the line would be a wise move
Bjorn