I am wanting to get people's opinion on what I should have done. What would you have done in that situation. Is it ever ok for someone to grab you if you are conscious? And at only 30-40 feet? If the computer says I am ascending too fast and I have enough air to make it to the surface is there any reason I should speed up. Am I wrong for being utterly enraged? When I came up I tried to explain to the dive master but was so upset I didn't know how much air I had when I was ascending and just shut up because I was on the verge of bawling. I let it go and just buddied up with someone else for the rest of the trip. It wasn't until I spoke with the owner and he looked at my computer that I knew (after surfacing) I had had enough air to slowly ascend.
Well, I haven't read the other responses yet but I can just imagine what people will say. I'll avoid blaming anyone (I suspect others will reach a consensus on who was to blame) and just make a couple of general comments.
First of all, you were following your training. You were taught SAFED (slowly ascent from every dive) and you followed the ascent rate indicator on your computer. You were fully aware of what you were doing and applying your training to the best of your ability. That's all right in the bullseye the way I see it.
Secondly, you had enough air to make the ascent, although you seem to have reached this conclusion on the surface when the dive was done. There is more to learn about planning/managing your gas (even on the fly) to be certain about these things while the dive is going on. Some of it are topics that you may or may not have been taught in your OW course depending on your instructor's own approach. I would like to make you aware of this for further learning. It can (and does) avoid a lot of stress and guesswork, especially when dives are getting deeper and closer to the NDL's.
Third, you were diving with an experienced buddy who communicated to you to get a move on. Normally in this situation I would have assumed (as you did) that he had a good reason for that. It *IS* possible, for example, to ascend too slowly but it doesn't sound like that's what you were doing. What this sounds like to me is that either your buddy was not aware of ascent rate recommendations, he didn't care, or there was a pressing reason why he was in a hurry. Don't let 30 years of experience fool you. A LOT has been learned about decompression theory in the last 30 years. When your buddy was certified (I have also been diving for 30 years so I have context for reference) it wasn't uncommon to make ascents that were so fast that the snorkel would wobble on your mask strap. We had a very rudimentary understanding of decompression theory, we didn't have "safety" stops and we dove with tables, which usually offer a large margin for error. If your buddy hasn't kept up with the times then it's possible that he was diving with an old "paradigm" about ascents in his mind and not understanding why you were taking it easy. My only advice to you would be to discuss it with him after the dive to understand what he was thinking. It's quite possible in my mind that you were the buddy with more knowledge about ascents.
Finally, it would appear that what your buddy primarily wanted was to stay together and not get separated during the ascent. That's good! From reading what you wrote I believe he should have slowed down instead of your speeding up unless there was some pressing need to get to the surface. In the situation, if my buddy looked like he was in a big hurry to get to the surface then I would have signed to him. (a) OK? (b) slow down and (c) how much air do you have? If he was ok and had enough air then I would have insisted that he slow down. I dive with people using different computers on a regular basis and our rule is that the diver making the slowest ascent (provided it's not too slow) is the diver who controls the ascent speed for the group. The only exception to this can be if someone is diving on tables and doesn't have the flexibility in ascent strategies that a computer offers.
I have one other question. I was skeptical about my buddies abilities b/c before we got in the water he didn't even know how we were supposed to descend and I had to tell him what the dive master had said, he didn't know which way was north (with a compass), and kept staying in front of me and never looking back. I had to chase him to tell him I was low on air. Does the length of time a person has been diving have any bearing on their abilities and safety skills? Can someone be diving a long time and just cheated death? I ask b/c I have a tendency to be highly critical and don't know if I'm just being nit picky.
30 years of experience can be a massive asset if the diver has kept up to date and continues to develop and learn. However, diving was different 30 years ago and someone who learned to dive 30 years ago and never kept up with the times could look like like an absolute tool as compared to modern divers. Massive experience doing the wrong things is only a guarantee of expertise in making errors.
R..
