Blonde

[BTravlin]

lol

I don't MIND blonde jokes, but just so ya'll realize, WE are the last group that it is socially acceptable to mock, which is sort of interesting....

I shoulda known

okay,

How do you tell a blonde virgin in Kentucky?

...she can outrun her brothers

How about us Kentuckians? The rest of the country, and even you poor mistreated blondes, love to make fun of us! :no

And now, back to the humor:

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in OUR backyard, let's just see how THEY like it."

 

[m3830431]

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.

 

[m3830431]

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

 

[micboucher]

One day, this blonde decides she is sick and tired ofthese blonde jokes.....and how all blondes areperceived as stupid. She decides to show her husbandthat blondes really are smart. While her husbands isat work, she decides that she is going to paint acouple of rooms in the house. the next day, right after her husband leaves for work,she gets down to the task at hand. her husband arriveshome at 5:30 and smells the distinctive odor of paint.he walks into the living room and finds his wifelaying in the floor.... in a pool of sweat. he notices that she is wearing a heavy parka, and aleather jacket.... at the same time. he goes over and asks her if she is OK. she repliesyes. he asks what she is doing.... and she repliesthat she wanted to prove to him that not all blondewomen are dumb, and she wanted to do it by paintingthe house. he asks her why she has a parka over her leatherjacket she replies that she was reading the directions onthe paint can and it said: "FOR THE BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."

 

[m3830431]

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.

 

[Rick Murchison]

Once upon a time (about twenty years ago) I was riding with a fellow Navy commander who happened to be female and blonde. We were on our lunch break from a conference in Corpus Christi, looking at some property she was buying out on Padre Island, and she was babbling away at 90 miles an hour as was her usual habit.
Suddenly, sort of out of the blue, she stopped talking, then turned to me and said "You know, I may prattle on like a dumb blonde, for it serves me well... but I know exactly what I'm doing."
I expect there's a lot of that in the real world.
Rick

 

[fishoutawater]

Oldy but goody:

 

[m3830431]

Once upon a time (about twenty years ago) I was riding with a fellow Navy commander who happened to be female and blonde. We were on our lunch break from a conference in Corpus Christi, looking at some property she was buying out on Padre Island, and she was babbling away at 90 miles an hour as was her usual habit.
Suddenly, sort of out of the blue, she stopped talking, then turned to me and said "You know, I may prattle on like a dumb blonde, for it serves me well... but I know exactly what I'm doing."
I expect there's a lot of that in the real world.
Rick

As I said my wife is a blonde and she is smarter then me. Although I am gray. It is still fun to tell jokes and there is no one else you can pick on anymore.


A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head.

Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..."

The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"

 

[m3830431]

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

 

[m3830431]

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?

Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?

Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?

Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?