clive francis
Guest
Here is a story that will make your bad days seem like fun - Something
to remember on the bad days.....
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2 on your FM dial
in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a
diesel powered industrial water heater. This ¤20,000 piece of equipment sucks
the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then
pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air
hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything
was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a
few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into
my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could
reach
the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for 2 days because my rectum was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..."
to remember on the bad days.....
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2 on your FM dial
in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a
diesel powered industrial water heater. This ¤20,000 piece of equipment sucks
the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then
pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air
hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with
no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything
was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a
few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick
to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into
my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could
reach
the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for 2 days because my rectum was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..."
