Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
> He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
> E-mail
>he
> sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on the FM
>dial in
> Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
> Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had
>a bad
> day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so
>I
> thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so
> bad after all.
>
> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
>a few
> technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
>of the
> sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year
> the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have
>a
> diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
>equipment
> sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
>It
> then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
> to the air hose.
>
> Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with
> no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
>is
> take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This
> floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
>So
> of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
> seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
>but the
> damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
> machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
>
> Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
> stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When
> I scratched at I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
>
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
>His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other
> divers, was all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the
>dive. I
> was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
>totaling
> thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
>chamber dry
> decompression.
>
> When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>As
> I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
>down
> his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
>as soon
> as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
>poop for
> two days because my butt was swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
> worse
>it
> would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".
> He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>he
> sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on the FM
>dial in
> Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
> Needless to say, she won. Here's his letter:
>
>
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had
>a bad
> day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so
>I
> thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
>not so
> bad after all.
>
> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
>a few
> technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
>of the
> sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year
> the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have
>a
> diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
>equipment
> sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
>It
> then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
> to the air hose.
>
> Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
>with
> no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
>is
> take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This
> floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
>So
> of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
> seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,
>but the
> damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water
> machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
>
> Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
> stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When
> I scratched at I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
>
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
>His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
>other
> divers, was all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the
>dive. I
> was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
>totaling
> thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
>chamber dry
> decompression.
>
> When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>As
> I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
>down
> his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
>as soon
> as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
>poop for
> two days because my butt was swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
> worse
>it
> would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".
