Hi koozemani,
Yes, I have a DSS rig, and I also do have a few non-DSS bits that I sometimes use with it. I would think that at 5'2" a "standard" plate would be rather tall and sub-optimal, unless she has a really long torso.
When I was shopping I found these possibilities (of course there may be others):
1) DSS small plate (~13" tall)
2) Halcyon small plate (~14" tall)
3) Oxycheq .... I think they had a smaller plate, but I can't remember for sure now
4) Agir-Brokk small plate (~14" tall) (but I did not find a US source, so it's a bit less convenient to order, but doable and they do speak English for ordering)
On the using of your wing on a non-DSS plate - if it were me I would take a close look at the cam-band slots and make sure those line up. I have done the reverse of you, and I have an Oxycheq wing that I sometimes use with my DSS plate. It fits, but since there is no standard cam-band-slot spacing I would want to check any specific combination individually to be sure.
Even the "foreign" plate/STA I have has the 11" OC holes, but the slots seem to vary on plates/wings.
As a side note: I just recently got a DSS Kydex plate (yes, size Small!) and I can't wait to try it out!
I find the 13" size to fit me really well. 14" is okay too, but not quite as good (on me). A "standard" 15" plate is a pain, because with the waist band around my waist, the plate is actually up high enough that the shoulder straps come "down" to my shoulders, and also it puts the tank up rather high.
And too, there are so many times in sports where as a female, you have to "make do" with equipment that is optimally designed for men (i.e. larger/taller/wider/etc.), that it just gets irritating, and I really appreciate it when companies make gear with a selection of sizes, so that I can get something that actually fits me. Thank you, thank you to those manufacturers!