gfisher4792
Guest
> Thoughts for Those Who Take Life Too Seriously:
>
> 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
> 2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
> 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
> 4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
> 5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
> 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
> 7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
> 8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
> 9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
> 10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
> 11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
> 12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
> 13. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
> 14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
> 15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
> 16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
> 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
> 18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
> 19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
> 20. I intend to live forever -- so far so good.
> 21. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
> 22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
> 23. My mind is like a steel trap -- rusty and illegal in 37 states.
> 24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
> 25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
> 26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
> 27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
> 28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
> 29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
> 30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
> 31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
> 32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
> 33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
> 34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
> 35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
> 36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required onit.
> 37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
> 38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
> 39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
> 40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
> 41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
> 42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
> 43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
> 44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
> 45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
> 46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
> 47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
> 48. Get a new car for your spouse -- it'll be a great trade!
> 49. Plan to be spontaneous -- tomorrow.
> 50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
> 51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
> 52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
> 53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
> 54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you
>
> 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
> 2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
> 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
> 4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
> 5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
> 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
> 7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
> 8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
> 9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
> 10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
> 11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
> 12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
> 13. Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
> 14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
> 15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
> 16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
> 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
> 18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
> 19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
> 20. I intend to live forever -- so far so good.
> 21. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
> 22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
> 23. My mind is like a steel trap -- rusty and illegal in 37 states.
> 24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
> 25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
> 26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
> 27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
> 28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
> 29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
> 30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
> 31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
> 32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
> 33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
> 34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
> 35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
> 36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required onit.
> 37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
> 38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
> 39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
> 40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
> 41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
> 42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
> 43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
> 44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
> 45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
> 46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
> 47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
> 48. Get a new car for your spouse -- it'll be a great trade!
> 49. Plan to be spontaneous -- tomorrow.
> 50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
> 51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
> 52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
> 53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
> 54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you
