Advice Please (longish post)

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People, the point is for non ideal conditions. Monterrey is cold all year and has bad viz. Diving in those conditions will make tropical dives relatively easy.

So true. I tell students that do their OW ocean checkouts in Monterey that when they go on the Caribbean or South Pacific, etc warm water tropical dive vacation they are gonna look like total pros.
 
The dive sounds like it was probably a bit ambitious considering you hadn't dived for 2yrs and then only on your OW course. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but ideally a refresher followed by a nice easy shore 'check dive' would have been better to settle you in.

Regarding your reaction on hitting the water, it sounds like you may have been quite anxious building up to the dive and this was the proverbial straw. If that was the case, build up slowly and don't push yourself too far out of your comfort zone. People sometimes assume panic is a sudden state and thus can't be foreseen, but it's often a slow boil that only becomes obvious when fully blown. If you feel that sense of unease beforehand, just sit the dive out. No one will think any the worse of you and bollocks to them if they do. I've bailed dives before and there are other times when I should have.

Anyway, you're not alone and I'm sure you'll be back in the water in no time. Oh, and tighten your weight belt up next time! :wink:
 
People, the point is for non ideal conditions. Monterrey is cold all year and has bad viz. Diving in those conditions will make tropical dives relatively easy.

tahoe is much closer and convenient for the OP though. more frequent diving would keep skills from getting rusty and increase comfort in the water.
 
tahoe is much closer and convenient for the OP though. more frequent diving would keep skills from getting rusty and increase comfort in the water.
These are not mutually exclusive. When I lived in El Dorado Hills, I split my dive time between Monterrey and Tahoe.

If the OP cannot make it to Monterrey all that often, no problem. Go to Tahoe. But make it a point to dive in Monterrey a bit.
 
People, the point is for non ideal conditions. Monterrey is cold all year and has bad viz. Diving in those conditions will make tropical dives relatively easy.

To answer an earlier question, there was no dive buddy pairing and honestly, that was not even in the top 10 things that were going through my mind.

I think the unfamiliarity with that environment and circumstances (relatively calm as it was) contributed a great deal to the overwhelming sense of panic I experienced. If it had started as a shore dive, I wouldn't have been so out of my element and would have had time to adjust.

Obtaining experience under less than ideal situations would make the dive I attempted a walk in the park. Thank you all for your suggestions as I was feeling pretty down on myself.
 
I am surprised you weren't buddied up with someone. That seems like it is pretty standard. As for the belt, keep in mind that sometimes you need to tighten it in the water while face down horizontally. That is what they taught us to do just a couple weeks ago when I got certified in Mexico. The gravity helps you that way to get it tighter. No matter what, though, it is never wrong to end the dive if you are not comfortable. Better safe than sorry.
 
That first backroll is scary. I did my first one in Mexico shortly after getting my OW cert, and my heart was pounding. I had to take a minute on the surface to just breathe deeply before I could descend. The next one will be easier. After five or six you'll think nothing of it.
 
That first backroll is scary. I did my first one in Mexico shortly after getting my OW cert, and my heart was pounding. I had to take a minute on the surface to just breathe deeply before I could descend. The next one will be easier. After five or six you'll think nothing of it.

Not only will you think nothing of it, you'll really enjoy doing them.

Back to your weightbelt . . .sug it up tight standing upright, if you will, but now lean over so your face is looking at the deck, tighten it up again. Oh, you'll also want to make sure that the weights on the belt are nicely balanced/spaced for you and none of them are too close to the buckle.

And yes, once you're in the water, go horizontal and snug it up again.

Make sure you've got that buckle closed nice and tight each time.

You're going to be just fine.

Thanks for being brave enough to share your story here.
 
I'd get back in there and try it again in safe, stress free conditions. The ocean is enormous and humbling. No one is going to argue that with you.

Since you're relatively close, I would fly or drive out to San Diego or Long Beach for a few days and go to Catalina to learn to feel safe in the ocean. The Dive Park in Avalon is super protected and calm, has great visibility, and you're never more than 50 yards from the shore where you walk down the steps into the water. You can dive in any depth you want. It's 15 feet deep next to the steps and drops down to 90 at the edge of the reef. There's as much life in the shallows as their is down deep. I'd actually say there's more. And after you're comfortable in the shallows next to the steps, slowly move deeper at your own pace.

I personally don't get scared getting into the big ocean, but I have anxiety about going too deep, especially in the middle of the ocean. So no, you're not alone in having anxiety/panic attacks in the ocean. And to make you feel even more normal, I grew up in San Diego and surfed a few times a week from the time I was like 10. But everytime we go under 85 feet deep, I get nervous and will only do it in great conditions.

I also find that anxiety (for me and a lot of other people) happens way more on charter boats where you're rushed and can't go at your pace. It's a lot different when you can suit up at your own pace, do the dive however you want, then sit on land relaxing and reminiscing about what you saw for as long as you please before your next dive.

Good luck! Let us know how you progress.
 
To answer an earlier question, there was no dive buddy pairing and honestly, that was not even in the top 10 things that were going through my mind.

I think the unfamiliarity with that environment and circumstances (relatively calm as it was) contributed a great deal to the overwhelming sense of panic I experienced. If it had started as a shore dive, I wouldn't have been so out of my element and would have had time to adjust.

Obtaining experience under less than ideal situations would make the dive I attempted a walk in the park. Thank you all for your suggestions as I was feeling pretty down on myself.

Please, please, PLEASE don't beat yourself up over this. The student who was the most nervous that I've ever had was this 6'5" 280 lb firefighter. He had no problem punching through walls and getting people out of burning buildings. But diving in the open water? That set off his anxiety. He didn't panic, but he was super nervous. I had to chase after him, as he wasn't listening to directions well, and when there was the surface navigation exercise, he just took off like a motorboat and I was worried about him going into the shipping lanes in Elliot Bay.

If I hit this guy with my car, I'd get out and check for damage, not for if he was okay. If he didn't pop his head up after a bit, he may have caused a freighter to sink.

I think you are going the right direction in seeking training and difficult conditions. Try to keep diving at least once a month at a pure minimum. I'd recommend twice a month if you can swing it. Do that, and you will be solid in your next trip and you'll have the biggest smile on your face as you backroll in your next trip.
 
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