Aahheem...Ladies..Your Attention Please

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BIGSAGE136

Contributor
Messages
1,612
Reaction score
1
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, United States
# of dives
200 - 499
We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These
are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for! what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to d! o it, just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.


1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
:wink:

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!
 
Sage,

Since my husband laughed when I read him your post and asked me to forward him a copy to his work, can he come and 'camp out' with you? I'm going shopping!
 
Just remember who your fav dive buddy is :wink:
 
Great ...we see so many womens pages like this come on guys get your own back time what would you add to the list ....hey dont let your wife see you doing it or we are all sleeping on the couch
 
LMAO!!!


Lord help me if my husband reads this one....... lol!!!!
 
LOL baitedstorm.
My favorite one..is kinda on the list, but part was edited way back..

It was someone asking me what it means when I woman says, "Let's stay friends" when breaking up.

I answered truthfully..
"It means the sex isn't really that good"
 
and when a guy says "let's stay friends" to a woman, it means
"I'll keep sleeping with you until you find another boyfriend"

or something...
 
Andy, LMAO
 
Natasha, the old thread has a link in it that has truly busted open one of the great myths about women. Women CAN pee standing up. I dont know whether to be sad or excited. What next?? Women wearing trousers???
 

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