A message to my pets ...

[kelpmermaid]

The bird also follows me into the bathroom, so I have to be careful about shutting the door when he's out. He isn't after me, he just wants access to the big mirror and superior lighting in there to admire himself while he sits in my hair.

For some reason, food on my plate or on its way to my mouth is infinitely more attractive than food in his dish. Even if I offer to share, somehow it's better from his perspective if it is "stolen." Nothing like parakeet feet on the rim of your cereal bowl!
He has even landed on my hand to take a chunk out of the peach I was about to put in my mouth. I'm all for diversity in his diet, but...I guess it's, "I'll have what she's having!"

He talks, and that's a bit of a problem as far as guests are concerned. He doesn't say any really bad words, but his favorite phrases include "Stinky!" and "Nasty Boy!" He likes the attention this gets him.

 

[Missdirected]

Do you buy Tennis balls in Bulk??? :huh:

Jen, stop wasting your money. I have a German Sheperd and a Lab and only buy Kong stuff. It is all that will last. It costs a whole lot more but if you start with one ball then gradually add toys its not so bad. I have one ball that has lasted well over a year - worth the "investment". Plus you won't have all that "hair" from the tennis balls.

 

[Kayla]

That is hilarious. I work at a vet clinic, and I'm definetley taking that in with me when I go back.... we can ALL appreciate that there.

With two Great Danes that love nothing more then to sleep with mom, I understand the king size bed thing too. I had a smaller one until I bought them, and now, its the smallest size I can have and still fit a couple humans in there. LOL.

And Kong's are the way to go. I should own stock in that freakin' company by now, but it keeps them busy, and I dont have to worry about them ingesting a tennis ball in three bites.

 

[MeiLing]

What is it with the bathroom thing and your pets? Like the minute you sit on the can, they come running!

 

[Missdirected]

and I dont have to worry about them ingesting a tennis ball in three bites.

Bingo. I'd hate for them to ingest something and it get stuck in their windpipe or something, eeegads. Also, if you ever want to treat them, they have the balls you can stick treats in...skip it, those little treats come right out. Get the one you can put some peanut butter deep down in

 

[SCUBAJENNIFER]

Actually, we can't buy tennis balls...they're destroyed and eaten within 30 seconds......we're reduced to buying SOLID rubber balls and those Nylabone things that weigh about 5 lbps and get as rough as sandpaper....perfect for stubbing your toes in the middle of the night.....

Oh my gosh Snappa, that's funny! Lucy has had some of the same tennis balls since she was a pup. She doesn't chew them up at all, she's far too interested in getting someone to throw them than chew them. Usually the only time they get thrown away is when they just get so gross from whatever creek, lake or river we've been in. The only thing she really likes to chew on are empty water bottles. She loves to keep those in her crate for when I'm at work and she's bored!

 

[Snappahead]

Just a warning on "Kong" toys....we generally buy those too. BUT, make sure you don't buy the Kong Ring, esp. for large dogs. Our 1 year old Lab got a hold of one and swallowed a two inch piece of it. It was too large for him to barf up and he couldn't pass it. Let's just say it was a $3,000 chew toy....he required emergency surgery--thank god everything came out ok.

 

[Boat Chick]

...would be hysterically funny if I didn't recognize every single part of it!

Agreed! We have four long hair weiner dogs (five at the moment as we pet sit a neighbors when they are out of town). They ALL sleep on MY side of the "king size bed" in the position described! lol! don't even think about getting up to go to the bathroom as 1) they all five have to be in there with you, and 2) they beat me back to the bed and I have about a four inch square to sleep. Husband pushes them off, they know to not go to HIS side of the bed...lol!

Thanks for the smile, definitely cute...love the last part too...if you don't like pet hair, don't sit on the furniture

 

[D_B]

I thought it time to bump this thread .. I sure do love this

A MESSAGE TO MY PETS​

When I say Move, it means to go someplace else, not switch positions
with each other so there are still at least two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw & little birdie foot prints are yours and contain your food,
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw, foot or feather in the middle of my plate and food
does not stake a claim for it becoming your food dish, nor do I find
that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping, they can
actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to
each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know
that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other
end to maximize space used, is nothing but sarcasm. Oh yes... and my
hair is not a nest.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, scream, try to turn the knob, or get your
paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. When I exit this
room, I will come out the same door I entered. In addition, I have been
using bathrooms for years. Canine, Feline, or Feathered attendance has
never been necessary.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other animal or your
butt. I cannot stress this enough! It would be such a simple change for
you.
In return for your following these simple rules, I have posted the
following message on our front door:
Our Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About
Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't
2. If you don't want their hair on your cloths, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is either feathered & flies or short, hairy, walks on all fours and
doesn't speak clearly.
5. Birds, Dogs,and Cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask
for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called,
never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't
smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't
wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college.​

sorry, I no longer have the authors name ​

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[The Chairman]

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