40 Things You Wish You Could Say At Work

Please register or login

Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

Benefits of registering include

  • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
  • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
  • You can make this box go away

Joining is quick and easy. Log in or Register now!

Mako Mark

Contributor
Scuba Instructor
Messages
3,914
Reaction score
29
Location
-36.655097° 174.654207°
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank-you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I, flypaper for freaks?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office; it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been mad

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career -- turns out I just wanted paychecks.

39. Sure, you came up with that idea.

40. I'd love to help you, but it's 5:00 PM.
 
OMG - You work at the same place I do!

Which padded cell without a door.... er... I mean cubicle, is yours? LOL!!!
In a sad sort of way, reading this was comforting. At least I know now I'm not alone in so many of my workday thoughts. :bravo:
 
Hey Mark, do you do any work :D

You seem to be around here a lot :eyebrow:


Very Funny, I think I'll cut and paste this to the office door :11:
 
You know what? I just don't feel like doing this meaningless crap today, ok? So why don't you just go curl up back in your tiny office and leave me the heck alone for today..ok?

whew...that felt good to type.
 
"Sir you are obviously to stupid to operate your new Plasma screen TV, why don't you just trade me your 42 inch plasma for my 27 inch Tube TV?"


sorry had to. . . .
 

Back
Top Bottom