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OP here - Just landed in Atlanta. No issues on the flight. Thanks for everyone's advice.
We’re now 18 hours on the ground. Any red frothy bubbles coming out your nose?
So... how much for that $uunto? (Or did you leave it in Bonaire hanging off the dock on a 15’ string?) Be realistic with the price, you weren’t using it, anyway

All (most) joking aside- did you learn....something?