Finebaum: Time to kick Vanderbilt out of the SEC | al.com
Finebaum: Time to kick Vanderbilt out of the SEC
Published: Tuesday, July 27, 2010, 6:01 AM Updated: Tuesday, July 27, 2010, 12:50 PM
When it comes to football, Vanderbilt has always been like your crazy uncle. You tolerate the old coot most of the time. However, when the boss comes over for dinner, you lock him in the attic with a double bolt.
But the time has come to end this silly nonsense. The last two weeks have been the nadir of Vanderbilt football in the Southeastern Conference. And that is saying something.
First, head coach Bobby Johnson resigned (three weeks before training camp opens), without even an explanation. Just ready to do something else, he mumbled. Even though Johnson came off looking like a quitter, the media yawned. Or perhaps they simply remembered Johnson had gone 2-10 (0-8 in the SEC) last season and would be lucky to equal that in 2010. Perhaps, some reasoned, a non-answer is enough of a reason to quit on your team, the recruits you have promised and the staff who depends on you, to say nothing of the people who pay your salary and to whom you have a signed and legal contract.
Johnson's long-time assistant, Robbie Caldwell, was elevated to interim head coach and some in Nashville speculated it was an inside job to get him the post long-term. Then, Caldwell shows up in Hoover the other day at SEC Media Days and in the spirit of Nashville goes country. The media boys were rolling in the aisles at Caldwell's homespun humor. My question: How did the Grand Old Opry miss on this character considering that he's been working just down the street for eight years?
One can understand the media lapping it up. If you had to listen to three days of sleep-inducing, mind-numbing, coach-speak from the likes of Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Bob Petrino, Gene Chizik and Les Miles, you would probably find Caldwell's monologue about "turkey insemination" downright side-splitting, too.
However, if I wanted to see Jerry Clower, I'd pop in an old DVD of "Hee-Haw" and sit back on the couch with a bottle of RC Cola and a Moon Pie. That's about what I got out of Caldwell's deep fried act last week. And besides, if you're the Vanderbilt head coach, shouldn't you at least try to give off the appearance you could have been admitted to the school as a student?
I found the whole presentation insulting, not only to a great academic institution like Vanderbilt, but to the SEC as well. If the administrators at Vanderbilt want to make a charade of college football, that's fine. They've already eliminated the athletic department several years ago. But I suggest they do it in some other league than the SEC.
Considering this is the best football conference in America, and considering Vanderbilt administrators were able to get their grubby paws on a $20 million payout recently in the league revenue sharing plan, the time has come for everyone else to say enough. Even Kentucky, a basketball school, makes an honest effort in football. Why can't Vandy?
Vanderbilt has its moments in other sports, particularly basketball. Oh, excuse me, Vanderbilt's women's bowling team did bring home a national title in 2007. However, everyone knows the main reason the school has hung on so long in the SEC is the academic value of being the most highly regarded institution of higher learning in the 12-school league.
In this new era of college football, it's time to get serious and Vanderbilt simply doesn't belong nor can it ever hang with the rest of the SEC. If Vanderbilt loses by 15 points or 50, we simply shrug our shoulders and say, "Well, same old Vandy."
Remember the old joke about the public address announcer from years ago who said at halftime: "Will the lady who left her 11 kids at Dudley Field please pick them up -- they're beating Vanderbilt 14-0."
I don't think ESPN and CBS are paying billions of dollars for this. If the Big Ten can improve by adding Nebraska and other leagues are on the prowl, why can't the SEC dump Vandy and find someone more competitive?
Oh, you say, Vanderbilt went to a bowl game in 2008 for the first time in 26 years. What good did it do them? They didn't even win a conference game the next year and now they have Larry the Cable guy coaching.
What's really embarrassing is that when a blue-chip SEC school plays in Vanderbilt's 39,790-seat stadium, the road team always has more fans than the home team. Alabama has more fans outside the stadium tailgating during a game than Vandy has in the joint.
At least Vandy officials could have been smart about this season. Instead of giving the job to Caldwell, they could have had tryouts like "American Idol" and let a different contestant coach each week. After the season, the person who did the best job would get the job for the 2011 season. Nothing draws a crowd these days like a good, cheesy, low-rent reality show.
On the other hand, imagine the excitement the school could have created if it had huddled for a couple of days then brought in a Mike Leach or a Phil Fulmer to coach this season. Perhaps that would have created real drama rather than a bunch of corn-pone jokes that are now the football program's calling card.
So enough already. Let me be the first to make a motion for the SEC to begin proceedings to dump Vanderbilt. Would anyone like to second the motion?
