Equipment Set Up Etiquette

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My wife and I are both former military and I put her gear together all the time.

Like Nemrod I have been diving for well over fifty years.

My wife slightly less.

Neither one of us cares in the slightest what other people do.

To answer your second question: yes, unequivocally.
 
If it's a standard recreational setup, no harm no foul if crew or someone else sets up gear, so long as the owner does a pre-dive check. If it's tech diving, no one should touch gear, apart from getting it secured on the dive bench, unless specifically asked to do so, and the owner should do a thorough pre-dive check to make sure of the gear's functionality.
 
All the liveaboards I have ever been on you set up your gear once and all that happens after that is the crew fills your cylinder. Most times you need to take your first stage off the cylinder after the dive to indicate you need a fill.

As to shore-based dives in the Asia area, all the places I have been to the staff setup your gear each day. All I ever do is check that it is how I like it.
 
So....valet diving isn't for everyone and that is OK. On a well run LOB the pre-dive check will ideally identify any equipment issues. My greater concern has to do with an insta buddy that is not candid about their experience and air management. Because of that I ultimately took a solo course and took full responsibility for redundancy and safety.

I have helped set up gear for many divers over the years - particular those who were at the age I am now, lol - but never touched a first stage.
 
My wife has minor mobility issues above the water's surface, so I usually set up her gear and mine under her watchful eyes. Once she's in the water, I quickly don my kit and drop in. She's a fish in the water and is often the one helping others. She just benefits from a bit of assistance above the surface and I'm delighted to help.

I share some of your feelings - for example, if the crew "helpfully" touches our stuff I go over it again myself, I change all of our own tanks, etc. But everyone has their own degree of teamwork and independence. You do you, let others have their own systems.

A Blue Angels pilot once said he hadn't done his own preflight inspection in years. Now that's some trust right there. Some teams work together like that. My wife and I are like that. YMMV.
 
My wife has minor mobility issues above the water's surface, so I usually set up her gear and mine under her watchful eyes.
I fail tonunderstand all these posts that seem to suggest that clipping a BCD onto a tank and screwing a regulator to a tank valve is akin to rocket science with very little margin for error.
 
I fail understand all these posts that seem to suggest that clipping a BCD onto a tank and screwing a regulator to a tank valve is akin to rocket science with very little margin for error.
It's not that difficult, but it's also literally life support equipment so it bears watching. I've seen it all... first stages installed backwards so the regs are on the left and the inflator hose is just left dangling. Weights zipped into the drop pouches, which are then left safely under the seat instead of snapped into the BCD. That sort of thing.

Crews inevitably hang the BCD's way too low on the tanks. You lift your head to look forward while level underwater and SMACK, the back of your head bashes into the first stage. Or they "helpfully" want to adjust your mask strap on the back of your head to where THEY prefer to have it. Or they "helpfully" grab your inflator and max out your BCD as you prepare to enter the water. Grrrrrr.

I've prepped our valves wide open and the crew comes along and closes them (presumably just getting it backwards, but still). That's why I politely ask them to not touch our stuff. Even then, they still have a habit of twisting the valves right before you drop in as they help folks balance for the big step (so you can't see them do it). Gee, thanks! If they get it backward, I get breath off the hose air (so everything seems fine like it was when I did my final checks moments before), and just as I start dropping I draw against a closed system?!? I know they're trying to be helpful but this isn't a Discovery Dive, it isn't rental gear, I set it up myself. Leave it alone, please.
 
I've prepped our valves wide open and the crew comes along and closes them (presumably just getting it backwards,

Yes there are about a half dozen important steps which you pointed out, none of them difficult and easy to check with little more than a glance and a few tugs here and there.

I've never had occasion or seen a crew member try to adjust anyone's mask strap without being asked. Except maybe during an instructor supervised training situation.

As far as prepping your valves wide open and the crew comes along and closes them. It's always been my understanding that the best way to prep the gear is after assembling and checking pressure and fittings and regs, to close the valve until right before you put on the gear so there's no loss of gas on the way to the dive site due to minor leaks.
 
It's always been my understanding that the best way to prep the gear is after assembling and checking pressure and fittings and regs, to close the valve until right before you put on the gear so there's no loss of gas on the way to the dive site due to minor leaks.
That's exactly what we do. Then we turn them on once the boat is tied off to the mooring line, which is usually right before we start donning our kits. But sometimes I'm grabbing a camera out of the clean water tub... or I'm helping my wife with her gear before putting on my own... there's always some window of opportunity. That's all I'm saying.

If you have a sequence that brings you comfort, stick with it. Others will do the same.
 

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