Equipment Set Up Etiquette

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Grizzly98

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Messages
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Location
Virginia
# of dives
200 - 499
I did a recent live aboard and I noticed an older couple (late 60s / early 70s) where the husband set up all the wife's gear. BC on tank, connect regulators, checked computer, ... Only thing I saw was her put weights in her pockets. This was also the case for each subsequent dive, where the husband would connect up the 1st stage, check gas mix, computers, ... Now the husband is a tech diver but to me it felt wrong and honestly dangerous. To add to the dynamic, I also made the comment that I love live aboards so much more than day boats because you don't have to constantly change tanks and her response was "that's the crew's job" which took me aback.

Now I'll admit, former military, so I have a strict regimen when I dive. Nobody sets up my gear but me because it is my butt on the line in the ocean. My wife was of the mindset that if it works for them fine and I get that, but I don't want to dive around those kinds of people even if they have 1000 dives. Do they really have 1000 dives or just 1000 swims with scuba?

What is the etiquette? AITA for judging? Is it the crew's job to set up your equipment as a certified diver?
 
As long as she's not crawling along the bottom or shining a video light in people's or critter's eyes...
 
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I am retired military and an engineer. When it comes to something technical I normally setup my wife’s equipment and show her the key points. My wife is not very technical but a great people person. Easier for both of us if I handle the technical side and she the people side. That way I stay in everyone good graces. A man has to know his limitations.
 
If you are concerned about divers not setting their kit - you need to pick a different liveaboard next time. I can suggest some where you might be tossed overboard if you ask the crew to setup your kit and you would definitely get no pudding 😂


I know that we are all obsessed here but vast majority of divers and dives, it’s just fine …
 
My wife was of the mindset that if it works for them fine and I get that, but I don't want to dive around those kinds of people even if they have 1000 dives. . . .
Your wife is right, as someone already said. We encounter all kinds of divers doing all kinds of things that seem odd or even cavalier safety-wise, and this couple ranks pretty low on my list of divers I might not care to be around. People-watching on liveaboards can be a sport in itself--just enjoy the show and do your diving your way.
 
It is not a question of etiquette unless the OP planned to insert themself into the other couple's gearing up process. The other couple had their SOP. Some spouses like that their spouse does or does not do certain things for them. That what makes a marriage/relationship.
 
I did a recent live aboard and I noticed an older couple (late 60s / early 70s) where the husband set up all the wife's gear. BC on tank, connect regulators, checked computer, ... Only thing I saw was her put weights in her pockets. This was also the case for each subsequent dive, where the husband would connect up the 1st stage, check gas mix, computers, ... Now the husband is a tech diver but to me it felt wrong and honestly dangerous. To add to the dynamic, I also made the comment that I love live aboards so much more than day boats because you don't have to constantly change tanks and her response was "that's the crew's job" which took me aback.

Now I'll admit, former military, so I have a strict regimen when I dive. Nobody sets up my gear but me because it is my butt on the line in the ocean. My wife was of the mindset that if it works for them fine and I get that, but I don't want to dive around those kinds of people even if they have 1000 dives. Do they really have 1000 dives or just 1000 swims with scuba?

What is the etiquette? AITA for judging? Is it the crew's job to set up your equipment as a certified diver?

I agree with my wife, all that is the crew's job or if they are not willing it is my job. And she is always right. Happy wife = happy life. She would give it a look over to see that it suited her.

Nowadays, now that my wife no longer dives after 45 years of it, if the crew will set my gear up that works for me. I will give it a once over. Me, after 56 years of diving, I have a mostly pretty good track record of surviving.

As to people not wanting to dive with me because I let the crew set up my gear, that is okay, I learned a long time ago to avoid the mayhem and go my own way as much as possible and whenever possible. I am a no drama diver, I got my s---t together, my stuff works, it is ready to go and so am I when I hit the water, all you see of me is a trail of bubbles into the blue.
 

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