No more insta-buddies

[Captain12Pk]

To quote Mr. Hirsch ... "Worrying about buddies on a full DIR boat is like worrying about where you're going to score weed at Burning Man." -Rainer

 

[TSandM]

Though I guess the potential would still exist, it's been my experience that DIR style divers tend to migrate toward and dive with other DIR style divers. Thus eliminating the problem with the poorly skilled "insta-buddy".

Tend to . . . yes. And the reason was actually in my original post on this thread, which is that all the problems people post about instabuddies disappear in our limited world. If you take a DIR trained diver and put him in the water with someone at random, he can have a bad instabuddy (although I really stick to my buddies like a tick -- you can try to shake me off, but it isn't easy ) but if you put two or three of us in the water together, we just don't HAVE the problems people write about, because the training and practice we've done just stamps out the issues.

 

[Leejnd]

I just want to say "thanks" to the OP for posting this here, so other divers will read it. I'm sure you've raised the consciousness of at least a few divers who might now rethink their buddy practices the next time they find themselves in an instabuddy situation.

I've done lots of dives with instabuddies (and I personally love that word, hyphenated or not - it's just captures the essence of the unique relationship!). Most have been great, several not so great, a couple disastrous. I thoroughly agree with Bubbletrubble's list of questions to ask an instabuddy. I learned the hard way NEVER to assume that other dives know (or remember) what's "the norm" - e.g. surfacing after 1 minute if you lose your buddy, etc. Never assume they have common sense, either. Everything should be discussed upfront - and if the instabuddy seems to feel you are doing overkill in the pre-dive discussion, then end the relationship, because that's not somebody you want to buddy with. I've had that happen - if my new buddy displays the slightest indication of not taking the pre-dive discussion seriously, then I'm not diving with that person.

Even with the pre-dive talk, things can still go wrong on the dive. If they do, then I will want to talk about it in detail before the next dive. If my instabuddy doesn't see a problem, or clearly state what he/she will do differently on the next dive, then I will not dive with them again.

I've been doing lots of instabuddy diving lately - I've been helping out in the galley for a local dive boat, so I've been going without my usual buddy, and finding buddies on the boat. And I'll be doing it again next weekend. So this is an issue that is very much at the forefront of my thoughts right now.

 

[Rainer]

....might attend the DIR curious dive/bbq on 10/9 if I can get the day off.

You should definitely at least come and check it out if you're free.

I assure you, we don't make a habit of just leaving our buddies!

 

[fnfalman]

I don't mind insta-buddies, even the non-DIR type buddies.

A good diver is a diver who always learns. Even from bad experiences.

Bad insta-buddies make great learning lessons for me on how to be a better buddy and a better diver.

Bring'em on!!!

 

[Captain12Pk]

A few years back I read a great thread here on SB. It was entitled "Am I a good buddy" or something along those lines. And if memory serves me correctly, it was authored by Lynne. It was that thread that made me re-evaluate my diving practices and ultimately changed the way I dive and train.
It is definately worth reading, and in my opinion should be a "sticky". Sadly, I've never been able to relocate that thread. If anyone can find that thread, I'd really love to read it again. Maybe even give copies to students.

 

[Captain12Pk]

I agree that someone should take charge. Generally, that would ideally be the most advanced diver. I'm AOW with 69 dives (start of day). My two friends are rescue but with fewer dives and much less cold water/kelp/low viz experience than myself. Instabuddy here claimed nearly 200 dives and mostly local. I knew as soon as we entered, those were either inflated numbers or he had never led a dive. So I led all three. No briefing could have predicted him coming up under me like he did, wandering off on his own, etc. No one just wanders off with any common sense. He also was with us when he decided to surface. He simply didn't catch the girl in front of him to let her know. I don't know anyone that says in pre-dive brief, "Hey, if you decide to surface, let me know." That's common sense. Clearly absent in this case.

For those asking, the dark side I believe is DIR. Kevin....might attend the DIR curious dive/bbq on 10/9 if I can get the day off.

I've been contemplating going myself. I'm just not real big on beach diving. But if you're able to make it, let me know. I"ll go with you. You're also more than welcome to come out and train with us anytime you like. You know that.

 

[galvanni]

I enjoyed reading the comments on this thread. As a novice that relies on insta-buddies and/or being one myself - I hope this does not discourage the practice. I want to be a safe buddy and a good buddy but for not having a dedicated dive buddy, the only way I can learn to be better is by being around better divers. I can't help but wonder why anyone would deliberately over-state their experience level to another buddy. To me - I think it's not only an obligation to be truthful to your buddy but also to yourself because it becomes your safety issue too - not just that of the buddy you're diving with.

 

[Leejnd]

I enjoyed reading the comments on this thread. As a novice that relies on insta-buddies and/or being one myself - I hope this does not discourage the practice. I want to be a safe buddy and a good buddy but for not having a dedicated dive buddy, the only way I can learn to be better is by being around better divers. I can't help but wonder why anyone would deliberately over-state their experience level to another buddy. To me - I think it's not only an obligation to be truthful to your buddy but also to yourself because it becomes your safety issue too - not just that of the buddy you're diving with.

And this is exactly why I'm thankful that the OP posted this thread. Newer divers don't necessarily know the steps to take to ensure that an instabuddy situation works. By reading this thread, newer divers may think twice before hopping in the water without that all-important pre-dive talk. This may be the first time they've considered what to do to avoid a bad instabuddy - and how to avoid being a bad one themselves!

 

[Xarifa]

Should Insta-buddy be hyphenated or not?